Liberation

I get a lot of information through my computer. I often come across something I want to read but not while I'm in the middle of something else. (Okay, probably 3 something elses!) When my dear hubby, M, uses my computer, it drives him crazy to see all the tabs open, waiting for me to read them.

My DH has been a critical support for me while we deal with this whole MS thing. However, he doesn't have MS and sometimes, like me, doesn't deal well with it. Sometimes, like me, he acts like I don't have it--just go, get it done, don't complain, go, go, go, you can do it. I appreciate that his pushing prevents me from using MS as an excuse to be a slacker (which I secretly am or want to be). Sometimes, he makes comments that make me realize how much he doesn't get it. And then he turns around and expresses his thoughts like he got them from my head!

When we first started hearing about CCSVI and the Liberation Treatment, he made a comment about how so many people with MS are so desperate, they will try anything, even if it's dangerous or doesn't work. I know he's concerned about ME trying something dangerous or getting my hopes up about something that doesn't work. But I remember feeling that he just doesn't get IT--the uncertainty about the future, the lack of control, the skepticism of the medical profession. Okay, that last one, I'm pretty sure he gets--he knows that there is no profit in a cure, at least not in comparison with the profit in drugs.

I've had a few tabs open this week about CCSVI information I wanted to read. A friend of mine had the procedure done this week so I have been more interested than I might be otherwise. (I can't get the treatment done while I am in my Alemtuzamab drug trial.) While I was making dinner, M saw that I had a tab open to a video of a TV report, so he watched it and I listened.

We talked about it afterwards, and I think he seemed almost excited about the treatment and the fact that someone is looking at MS in a different way--what causes it or what is a treatable symptom of it. I reminded him that MS societies in the US and Canada are reluctantly starting to research the treatment and going about it in a way that will take a decade or more to approve (if appropriate) this testing as a standard for MS patients. He acknowledged that he knows I have this constant worry about what might happen to me--and it's a huge stress. My friend is at a stage I have not experienced with my MS. I am thankful for my blesssings, but I hope and pray that I do not progress to some of the stages I have seen others experience with their MS. And I hope and pray that my friend's treatment is a huge success.