DRAFT TODAY, POST TOMORROW: Some posts may be in draft status until I (aka procrastinator extraordinaire) get around to posting them.

Monday, March 31, 2014

Paying to be tortured

There are things wrong with me. But you knew that. Let me start over.

There are things wrong with my body. I don't mean that in a "OMG, I'm so ugly or flawed" kind of way but in a "my body could work SO much better, couldn't it" kind of way. Cause even a young lady like Lorde will tell you that it's okay to be flawed.

Anyway, things hurt. And don't work quite right. And all that stuff. My right shoulder pops nearly constantly. My hips, mostly on the right but not always, get stiff and pop several times a day. My left eye is twitching and the eyelid feels pinched, and both eyes alternate between dryness and watering to the point I look like I'm crying. My fingers are numb-ish. My left foot and calf are numb-ish most of the time.

In case you are new here, I say numb-ish because the area doesn't feel normal, but I can also feel it. It's like a waiting zone in between feeling and not feeling. I gather it's an MS thing, but Dr. Q thinks it's a stress thing. Well, he kind of thinks everything is a stress thing. The coming and going nature of it makes it hard to disagree with him except that...MS.

Oh, MS, you bitch. Symptoms of MS come and go. I've been thinking about this recently...and I don't want to read up on it. At what point does remitting relapsing MS become one of the other more serious types of progressive MS? The reason I'm thinking about this is because my MS doctors seems completely unconcerned with my symptoms which used to come for short periods and then go away for long periods of time but now are more here than gone. With RRMS, you generally/mostly recover from each exacerbation before the next one. One of the types of progressive MS is a progressive worsening of symptoms over time with little recovery. At what point do I throw in the towel and say I am never going to get better from these symptoms?

So I know that is a total tangent...but it gives you an idea of the worries in my (holey) brain. And then Dr. Q tells me that I'm a thinker and that stress is why I'm having all these physical symptoms. I'm paraphrasing, but I'm pretty sure he just told me to stop thinking, worrying, and being myself. :)

Today's adjustments were so effing painful. My back (which was the least of my worries) was all messed up and it hurt like hell when he was adjusting it with his activator. (An activator looks like a play gun and makes a popping sound; he does not "rack and crack" me.) My back was so tender. It's amazing to me that I don't really notice that until we're trying to fix it.

He also did that finger on the side of my face pressure thingy that hurts like some kind of medieval torture. But my eye felt so much better when I left. So much better. This is why I pay for torture. I know it's not permanent, but it helps.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014


I had my labs done yesterday. I got a call today that my thyroid is "normalized" so I should continue my medication without change. That's the first time I've ever heard that word!

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Back to Dr. Q

A few months ago, my appointment at the college with my naturopathic chiropractor was cancelled. Not rescheduled--cancelled. I was told to call back. If you know anything about my to-do list, you can already guess that I did not call for quite a while. When I finally called, they told me he was no longer there.


They gave me his number and I called to schedule an appointment. I had to leave a message. I was surprised when he called me back. It took a minute for me to realize it was him and another minute for him to figure out I am me.

His office location is very near my work location. It is a small office and it appears that he has no staff. I had to wait a little while he finished with someone else.

He has this interesting table that goes perpendicular to the floor. I stepped on the "plate" with my front against it and then it moves to a horizontal position. Totally freaky but yay technology. It is a higher table. It is also a wider table than used at the college.

The treatment was essentially the same. He spent a lot of time on my neck and head. Stress much?

He is running my insurance to see what they cover so I just paid a "co-pay" which will apply against my deductible. If this is cheaper than the out-of-pocket at the college, I'm going to be irritated.

Saturday, March 15, 2014

Spring cleaning - Closet edition

My work environment has an interesting dress code. We wear business professional during the winter, October to May, and business casual during the summer, May to October. Additionally, we can wear jeans on Mondays (not Fridays) throughout the year.

When I lost all that weight after my food allergy and thyroid diagnoses! I had to buy clothes, especially for work, as I went down the scale. I went all the way down to 140, which is a size 6 or a small 8 for me. I didn't stay there long and headed back up the scale.

When I got up to 170 (not where I want to be, but, hey, this is where I'm at), I found myself at a size 10.  I have a closet full of clothes at varying sizes, but I could not find anything in a 10. Nothing. Well, I have some stuff that can go a couple sizes, like sweaters and Tshirts that are more fitted now!

And it was time to start dressing professionally. Huh. So I went to a couple of consignment shops to get a few slacks and jackets and ordered some dresses and cardigans online. I am reluctant to go all out because I don't want to stay at this size. On the other hand, I don't see my size changing and I like to find things that make me feel not-bloated.

A month or two ago, I remembered that my MIL had kindly given me a couple pairs of her size 10 pants when I went down the scale, and I had given them back to her when they got too big. It was weird, remembering that after several months of this nagging feeling I was forgetting something. I even talked to a few people thinking it would jog my memory. But that information had fallen into one of those holes in my brain...

Because of the multiple sizes of clothing in my closet, I'm having trouble finding an actual outfit to wear sometimes, so I I thought I should clean out my closet. There are a half dozen (at least) boxes in my closet, for Goodwill primarily, although some was just stuff that was too small I had pulled out already.

Imagine my surprise when I opened the second box and it was size 10 and some smaller size 12s. Doh. Yep, I boxed everything up and...Forgot. It. Existed. Ever. The next box was my suits! O.M.G. I have a wardrobe. Winter and summer. It needs some supplementary pieces, mostly tops, but I feel like I have an actual wardrobe now!

I'm just trying to understand was the memory of those clothes, those boxes, the packing of those was that all just GONE from my brain? I'm so perplexed. I'm sure it's my MS, although I try not to blame things on MS when I can find any other possibility. But what...what other explanation can I find?