DRAFT TODAY, POST TOMORROW: Some posts may be in draft status until I (aka procrastinator extraordinaire) get around to posting them.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Random thoughts

I had meetings during my lunch time so I went to lunch pretty late.  I ate a relatively big, late breakfast of leftover chicken and rice with mole sauce, so I thought I would be okay, but I was a little shaky by the time I could leave for lunch.  I needed to run some errands so I was going to have a can of soup, but my hunger took over and I went to Babbo for roast chicken and veggies.  It's the pesto primavera, but I get it without pesto or cheese, and the mista salad without cheese or croutons.  I've decided the worst part about not eating bread is not giving up sandwiches, but having no yummy soft bread for pushing food onto the fork.  But giving up sandwiches is a close second third.  Cinnamon sugar toast is a close second.

While I was sitting at the bar, eating my lunch, I watched the program on ESPN2, something like number cruncher.  A couple of people stand in front of a screen and discuss something (there's no sound and I wasn't paying attention to the captions) and then drag and drop their numbers or icons into different areas on the screen.  You would think this was really hard!  They (especially the guys) looked like they were having seizures, they had to retry so many times.  Don't these people have computers and phones?  If you're getting paid to do it, maybe you could practice a little off camera.

I see some turnover at the dry cleaner, but some of the girls are there for a while.  As one of them was helping me today, she commented on my weight loss.  As we were talking, she said she is trying to gain weight--she is about 5'3" and 125 pounds but wants to weigh what I weigh--close to 145!  She has been told she's too skinny; I think she should disregard.  She'll gain it as she gets older anyway!

Last night, a lady in my agility class told me that I am too skinny.  When I was talking to my sister, C, the other night, she reminded me that I will have to get used to this again.  I was very, very thin growing up, and didn't reach a "normal" weight until I was in my 20s.  After my car accident, I gained too much weight.  I lost it about ten years ago and was at a great weight again, probably about where I am now.  And then MS and food allergies took me back up the scale.  I think I'm actually at a pretty healthy weight right now.  I could lose some fat and gain some muscle but the weight is fine.  So when the lady said I was too skinny, I admitted that I lost a lot of weight, and then added that I feel so much better, and that I used to be too fat.  She didn't like that at all.  Have we all forgotten what normal looks like?  I WAS too fat and I am NOT too skinny.  Why can't people just say something nice and shut up?

I actually DON'T feel better today.  I'm uncertain if it was yesterday's lunch or last night's dinner, which I had more of this morning.  Grrr.

I got home late and ate leftover pasta while Mick had pizza rolls.  He mentioned that there were thousands of aphids on my lettuce in my garden and that I should be taking care of my garden at least once a week.  Since I AM doing weekly gardening, he said twice a week.  So I made more organic bug spray and went out, with him right behind.  There are more caterpillars on my lettuce, and there were green aphids on my turnip leaves. I sprayed everything but skipped the eggplant since they look fine and there was a ladybug hanging out.  I cut off some cilantro and checked out the broccoli.  Anyway, he thought I was mad but I explained again that I'm not feeling well and I was really looking forward to coming home and doing absolutely nothing.  I accidentally popped my left leg after I ate dinner and, for the first time I can remember, it hurt, like a tingly feeling down my leg almost to the foot.

Once he started playing his hockey video game, I cleaned the kitchen, put the cut cilantro in a vase, and grabbed my dessert and headed to the other room to vegetate.  My computer would not connect to the internet.  I know this happens and what to do but I totally spaced out and freaked out.  I have been dealing with technology issues for about 3 weeks at work and I'm just beat down.  Today's mess was a complete shut down of our system, including the phones while I was supposed to have a phone meeting (fortunately not with a client), and I am still dealing with crazy workarounds for my email.  So I'm sitting at home looking at this mess and crying and my husband is overreacting to my overreacting.  Essentially anytime I am freaking out  crying and he doesn't get it, he starts yelling about who is dying like that's the only reason I am allowed to lose it.  Mmm, Kahlua.

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