DRAFT TODAY, POST TOMORROW: Some posts may be in draft status until I (aka procrastinator extraordinaire) get around to posting them.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

I suck at life

I don't know where my day turned but I'm ending feeling stabby.
I felt super hungry all day and hadn't planned for it since I wasn't so much the day before. After eating a small microwave lunch (Bistro moroccan turkey), I ate half a bag of sweet chili chips. So not good. For my waistline. Totally good in my mouth.
I haven't been to the gynecologist since whenever that was that I had the herpes outbreak that they decided wasn't herpes after I thought I had it since I was...well, my boyfriend--the first guy I lived with--got it and he hadn't been with anyone else ever and I had the symptoms as long as I could remember so I was diagnosed in a round about way...but then undiagnosed. I'm guessing that was a couple years ago because I was supposed to get a mammogram and never scheduled it.
Anyway, I finally scheduled my well-woman exam. I can't remember the last time I had a male doctor for this. I had trouble finding the office since I have no idea what I did with my note. At least I remembered to fill out the paperwork yesterday.
I found the office and waited a while. I liked the doctor. He came in to meet me and talk and then came back after I changed into that stylish paper outfit we all know and love. Or something.
The good news is that he said everything looks normal.

The meh news is that he said that herpes test can confirm a diagnosis but not rule it out so I probably do have it.
The bad news is that I'm totally disgusting. I mean, he said it is common but...I mentioned the two round spots I have below my bra line. I was planning to see a dermatologist because they are getting bigger and actually ran into each other. He said it sounded fungal and when he saw it he said it is probably ringworm.
What?! I'm walking around with fucking ringworm for a hella long time! He told me ringworm is more commonly flaky and on the surface (yep, I had that once a LONG time ago) but this was deeper version. I "get" to use my extra yeast infection lotion--you know the little tube that comes with the actual yeast medicine application--for a few weeks on the spots. O. M. G. I'm smearing hoo-ha cream on my torso. FML.
So now I don't have to go to the dermatologist but I still need to go for my mammogram. Y. A. Y.
On the way home, I stopped at Sam's Club. I needed something but I couldn't remember what so I walked around. I found what I came for and some groceries and stuff.
Now, if you shop at Sam's, you know they take debit but not Visa. Except at the had pump. Weirdos.
I recently got a new card from my bank and put it in my wallet. Except that now that I was at the register I realized I had replaced my debit card with a new credit card. So I had the old and new credit cards but no debit card. Well shit.
I had some cash so I took what I could pay for and left. Upset of course. What the hell is wrong with me?! I wanted to get home to find the card I had set aside to shred. Thankfully our shredder died a long time ago so I still had the card.
You'll never guess where it was.

I put it in the money part of my wallet when I activated the new card. Yep.
I had the debit card with me the whole time. I. Am. Awesome.
I suck at life.
I suck at photos too.

What I wore
What I ate (Lundberg rice with Applegate sausage)


  1. Holy shit, you made me laugh! Hoo-ha cream on your torso!!

  2. LOL, I'm here for your amusement! :)