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Smelling someone else's food I can't have sometimes pulls me out of it but for the most part, I've felt crappy for a couple weeks. It's making me grumpy. I'm hoping I'm not being super-irritable. But I probably am....
Every other day, or more, I look pregnant, I'm so bloated. I'm not eating things I'm not supposed to eat so I don't understand what is happening. I'm up to 180 now. I want to cry. Or punch something. Or both. It fucking sucks.
And I get to function like a normal person in my life. Cause really, no one cares. No one wants to hear about it. The people who care, they think they do, but really, who wants to hear this shit every day? Literally, this shit. Of course, I'm having trouble in that area. Nothing, then everything. Over and over. It's the old cycle.
I haven't developed all the pain issues I used to have but I definitely am feeling some of it. And...I'm terrified. It makes me sad to write that but...
I'm getting the familiar pulling in my lowlow back, down my left leg, making it difficult to walk normally. So I overcompensate and then my right leg hurts and people want to know why I'm limping. Now both my knees hurt and I have shooting pain down my left butt and leg. Yay.
That is a weird combination with the numbness. Mostly in my left foot and calf but it comes and goes other places too. And of course in my fingers. Sometimes my hands. It's not total numbness--I can still feel but it's not...right. It's distracting. And sometimes things slip. Or I can't open something that should be easy. It's tiring.
And my neck hurts. And my head. I'll wake up with a headache. This is why I'll never be a morning person. When you wake up with a headache, sleep is so much better than anything...anything else. A bath, adult beverages, sex , bacon...none of it is more appealing than sleep. I know, sucks to be my husband, right?
My chiropractor gave me hand exercises for my weakness. And I've started doing yoga again. (Mick couldn't believe I paid for the DVD sets for Namaste Yoga but it's not on TV anymore AND I lost the episode I had on the DVR when it was replaced.)
I don't want to be negative, but I don't think anything is working. I'm discouraged. I'm fighting hard to stay away from that bitch, depression. But I am...worn down. Sad. Frustrated. Overwhelmed. All the words I use every time....That other bitch, MS, teams up with depression and makes it all so damn hard.
In case that wasn't enough, my period, which comes too close together anyway, came early. I can't even get three full weeks in between periods and it fucking comes early! WTF. FML.