Breathe. Are you breathing?

I'm taller. And I feel like what I imagine normal people feel like.  Oh, wait, no I don't.

I had my first appointment with Dr. M at the SW College of Naturopathic Medicine today.  Dr. H referred me as she felt I should see this particular chiropractor.  Two students, I and S, started by taking my history and having me do some range of motion tests.  Dr. M came in a had the students give him a summary and asked some additional questions.  Then he showed me the tool he uses called an activator.  He uses it so that it takes less effort for the same effect.

He had me lay face up on the table and he started right away.  He touched my right foot briefly, asked if it was tender in this spot on the left inside area, and it was, although I wouldn't have been able to tell prior to that moment.  He applied the activator, pop, pop, pop.  Damn, that fucking hurt.  And then it didn't.  He felt different areas, and some points where he used the tool, I didn't have much reaction, and others, I felt the tenderness as he touched the area and then the pain as he applied the activator.  He did both sides and moved up from there, talking with me and the students as he progressed.  He reminds me constantly to keep breathing; it is more painful when I'm not breathing.

We talk about the fact that I have a pretty constant numbness in my little toe on my left foot, the next toe and somewhat in the next toe.  He talks with the students about how difficult that makes walking.  He says I'm doing fine.  I wonder.

He spent some time with my top ribs (in the front), especially on the right, and he explained later that the way my rib cage is sitting (more or less, I'm summarizing the best I can without knowing the words) shows evidence of blunt force trauma.  The only time I've had something like that was my car accident.  In 1993.  I've been walking around with my rib cage misaligned for almost 20 years.  He said that he can probably realign it with about 4 treatments.  My left thigh is now numb.

I flipped over and he started again at the feet and worked up.  When he got to the sacrum area and Lumbar area (I'm pretty sure my fusion is at L4 and L5), he explained to the students how he wasn't going directly into the area, and he used the tool to the left of my spine, I'm guessing by about 3 inches.

When he was treating my arms, he talked about the difference.  I am overusing the right side and under-using the left.  He said that when I work out, I need to do the maximum that I can on the left, and then only do that  amount on the right.  I explained that I'm not supposed to be exercising and he said that I need to do a very light weight, just nothing strenuous while the other doctor's orders stand.

He was "done" so he put his hand on my feet and had me do different motions with my hands and head while still laying face down.  As he is finishing up, he has me look to the right, which is okay, then to the left, and there is a little pull.  He checks my neck and does more work.

He talks to the student, realizes that I'm trying to see what he's doing, and includes me in the conversation and gestures.  What he is saying is hard to translate, but essentially, let's say my left pelvic area is shifted to the left, up and out, and the right side is shifted to the back and down, but not in opposite directions, just different directions.  I'd say that he said I'm a fucking mess.

Now that he was done adjusting me, he had me sit up and he explained that he can help me, which made me get emotional and want to cry, but I held it in.  How many times have I heard this, and not been helped?  How much can I get my hopes up?  But I am getting my hopes up.  I feel really great at this moment.

He talks to me about breaking some habits, but we'll take it slow, he's not throwing it all at me at once.  But he does tell me that he wants me to work on the way I sit.  This comes as a surprise, because he's talking about the thing I do that I was taught by a physical therapist to take the pressure of my sacrum.  I put one foot under the other thigh.  I try to balance out by doing both sides.  He says this helps with my pain, (as I know, it helps me cope with my pain) but it is not the long-term solution and it's time to reduce the amount I do this.  If my alignment is corrected, I won't need to do this.  Hmm.  We'll see.

He also discusses how I sit when driving.  I guess I'm supposed to have my left leg "out" like my right leg, but I tend to have it closer to me, sometimes even curling it up when I'm already in pain.  He says when I'm not in pain, I will have the leg out and relaxed.  I should try to do that.  Sigh.

He has me stand up and put my shoes on, and he stops and looks at me.  He tells the student, I, to look at me.  I'm standing taller, I can feel it and they can see it.  My posture is improved; my shoulders are not so close to my ears--my neck is elongated, he says.  How can I not be hopeful?  I will see him next week.

As I'm leaving, going to my car, I'm thinking about how fantastic I feel.  Is this what people feel like all the time?  I have literally the least amount of pain I can remember having.

I met coworkers for lunch.  I ordered carefully.  I've eaten here before, and I don't recall how I ended up feeling.  I ordered salmon in parchment, no sauce, no butter, no rice pilaf, extra veggies, make them steamed.  Lots of green ice tea.

We leave and I'm not feeling great.  Is it residual from yesterday?  Is it lunch?  Is it aftershocks of my treatment?  I'm at the office the rest of the day, and I'm in pain.  I'm having trouble peeing, but feel that I need to.  I'm not happy that I don't know where to lay the blame for this.

I went to Poor Little Rich Girl to see if I can find a sweater or summer jacket that I can wear to my conference as well as a brown or yellow top to go with a skirt I have nothing to match.  They are serving wine!  I have some to take the edge off this pain so I can look through all these pieces to find some things to fill in my wardrobe.  I have over $30 credit from the pieces I dropped off a couple weeks ago.  I don't find what I was specifically looking for, but I get a denim skirt and a floral skirt and several tops, some dressy and some casual.

I get home late, and cook anyway, since I'm probably going to need all these leftovers to make it through the weekend.  My husband likes the "multigrain" pasta (a corn, buckwheat, rice blend) and the sausage, but isn't so thrilled with the veggies, which included some chard in addition to sweet potatoes, yellow bell pepper, and garbanzo beans.  He ate it anyway.