DRAFT TODAY, POST TOMORROW: Some posts may be in draft status until I (aka procrastinator extraordinaire) get around to posting them.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Whine, er, wine.

I was invited to lunch with the girls today. The birthday girl picked Oregano's, a place I used to love. I checked the menu and thought I might be able to have the guacamole (so I took a bag with my own chips) and a salad. When I discussed it with the waitress, I found that the guacamole is just a small part of the appetizer; it's basically a flatbread with that as the topping. Hmmm.

The Mexico salad was modifiable, so I did that with no cheese, no tortilla strips, and no dressing. They brought me oil and vinegar and a plate of lemons. The salad was actually pretty nice, with fresh herbs tossed with the lettuce and tomatoes; the chicken was cut up very small and cooked with salsa type ingredients. The lemon and a little oil and vinegar (I could have skipped that in retrospect) was fine for dressing. As I was finishing, I saw a little piece of tortilla chip, so I wonder if it was just that piece that flew into my salad or if they put them on and then picked them off. Hmmm.

I got a call late yesterday that Dr. M, the "chiropracter" at the Naturopathic College, could get me in so I took the appointment. I had a new student, V, and she asked me some questions and had me in tears in no time. I think she was kind of uncomfortable, like you don't have to talk about it if you don't want. And that was just asking about my MS treatments and the drug trial! I told her that I felt amazing when I left last time but felt terrible within a couple hours and it lasted at least a couple days as I remember. I also explained that it's hard to see improvements in thyroid symptoms when they are the same as MS symptoms.

Dr. M came in and took me to the next room where he had me lay face up while he started feeling different points. He almost immediately asked me what I was stressed out about. Oh, so much. And then I was crying. And he was understanding. And I was crying. And he was questioning. And I was crying. And he was listening. And I was crying.

I flipped over onto my stomach and he worked on my back quite a bit, reminding me to breathe--harder than it sounds when you're crying. He helped me articulate my feelings. He said that I'm not wrong, and the other people involved aren't wrong either. They may be acting out of fear because of my health. I'd like to believe that but I really don't.

More plausible, they have a misunderstanding of what is helpful. He told me that they probably think they are doing the right thing, and become frustrated when they find out it's not since they don't know what the right thing is--for me. It is a beautiful gesture that says you don't know me or my needs at all. V said that her husband brought roses to her, and every time they died, he'd bring more. She finally had to communicate to him that she hates roses, she preferred sunflowers. Although he was doing the "right" thing, it wasn't the right thing for her.

I realize I am no longer feel like an equal partner in my house and something needs to change. Even if he doesn't agree with me, he needs to side with me.

My husband has really gone on the defensive, and I find myself shutting down. Dr. M says I'm not sleeping well; he can tell by how my body is reacting. Having no safe place is not good for my health. He reminded me that a husband can be right or be happy. I was really surprised when I left and he gave me a hug. I can't remember if a doctor has ever given me a hug. He seems like such a genuinely nice guy.

V asked the doctor about recommending a homeopathic treatment and she suggested Ignatia. She explained that I try to hold my emotions in, even when crying, that the chin quivers, and I hold back as much as I can, so this will help with my emotional state. I don't know if I'm buying into it, but it can't hurt to try (homeopathic treatments do not have side effects or reactions with other substances.) She said I could get it there or one of the healthier grocery stores. I was planning to go to Sunflower Market so she recommended getting it there and wrote the name down for me. Because the doctor has a very full schedule, V and the gal that does checkout decided to find a six week period that I could get in each week and schedule those six appointments. In addition, I will have at least one or two appointments before those start in late June.

Since I had this appointment late in the afternoon, I asked my friend J, who lives nearby, if she might want to get together. We met at a wine bar, Studio Vino, and had some drinks. The waitress brought out the bags of nuts that J had been noshing on so that I could see the ingredients and decide what to eat. The plain almonds and the spicy cashews were okay but the sesame covered nuts also had diary.

J and I had a lot to talk about, and she warned the waitress there would be drinking and cursing. Of course, we did talk about my appointment and situation.

The owner knows J and introduced herself to me. She told us about some wine tours to Arizona wineries; they are planning starting monthly in June. J's boyfriend may not agree, but that sounds like a girls' trip to me!

When I left the wine bar, I went to Sunflower to find this Ignatia. A guy that worked there helped me and I bought 2 so that I could have one at home and one at work instead of carrying it around all the time. I forget sometimes that Sunflower has some really different products from the other stores. I found a LOT of "chapstick" choices, and several had no soy or other questionable ingredients. I don't love paying $2.50 each, but my lips were killing me, so I got a bunch of replacements, for my purse, my bathrooms, my office at home and at work. I also got some groceries, a few things on sale or different from what I find elsewhere. They had my "ice cream" for $3.99, $2 off the normal price! Although they don't have all the flavors Whole Foods carries, if I hadn't just bought a stash, I would have bought all they had.

I went home and had the artichoke Mick had cut today for me. I made a dip of the cilantro pumpkin seed dip I bought at Whole Foods, mixed with a smaller amount of "mayo" and some srirachi. Pretty tasty. I was feeling pretty terrible by the time I got home, most likely from the treatment, but possibly from lunch, so I also had some "ice cream."

As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. Proverbs 27:17 NLT

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