"YOUR FAMILY"

We're trying to schedule this awesome trip to see family this summer; if everything works out, I will get to see nine of my nieces and nephews, several of which I have not met.

So I have asked my relative who lives in a city about five hours drive from where we are actually going, which is about a sixteen hour drive from my house, about visiting during this trip and she seemed open. So I thought I'd firm up some plans, and it was all down hill from there. I asked her: (italics are changed to protect privacy)

If we can only make it out for a few days between dates, when would be best for you?

Her

we no longer have a vehicle, we made 1 payment on our car and the head gaskets are blown. I honestly don't know if we will have a vehicle by then to even get to place.

Me

not promising, but what if we can make it over there?

Her

anytime is fine, i'm not taking classes this summer only tutoring biology

Me

We'll see what we can do.

Her

ok love you, sorry i always get dealt the crap hand, only wish i had known it was a lemon, I sold my truck 2 days before the gaskets blew

Me

Her

are you flying or driving?

Me

flying, not sure if we're renting a car or relying on family yet

Her

well I hope we can see each other, I really want you to meet my sons since you are the only sibling that still communicates with me

I don't know why my decision to have kids was so horrible that every stopped talking to me but i'm used to being the lone wolf, but you have always talked with me even if you didn't agree with the decisions I made in life.

they no of youngest sibling and mom but that's it, so I would really like them to know that they are not hated

Me

well, I can't speak for other brother, but another sister is just terrible at keeping in touch with anyone, don't take it so personally. (I know, easier said than done, but really, I mean it.) It's like me taking it personally that I haven't heard from youngest sibling in 15 years. I guess I could but I think that's all on youngest sibling, not me.

And you can't give the boys some impression that they are hated by people they don't know and don't know them.

Her

I don't give them that impression, son (my oldest) see pictures of our family and ask why no one comes to see them and who everyone is and how come they can't talk on the phone and what I did to make everyone not visit.

Me

Ok, why would he ask what you did to make everyone not visit. people live across the country and have their own lives. It has nothing to do with you or with him.

Her

I haven't heard from another brother since son was 1, he is now 6 going on 7. I had a number for him and left several messages and NEVER received a call back. I understand that we have separate lives and I'm the only one with kids. He just doesn't understand why he is this age and still not met his aunts and uncles on my side. He only has 1 aunt of the baby daddy's side and has met everyone in his family that he knows of (his family is divided like ours many of his relatives refused baby daddy b/c they hated his mother or father depending which side they are from)

Me

My teenage nieces that I'm hopefully going to see in month, I haven't seen the oldest in about 15 years, never seen the youngest. Just saying, that's the way it works with extended family. If he wants to place blame (unusual for a kid his age, but he is related to our mom, so sure, let's go with that) then he can blame you for not moving to where I live. Cause that makes as much sense as saying that not visiting means someone hates a kid.

I didn't see any of my aunts and uncles until I was a teenager either. That doesn't mean they don't love me, it means they didn't go to where I grew up cause they didn't live there or have any other reason to be there.

Her

you would think you would of be reason enough what more reason do you need

Me

So you don't have a car to get to place, and I shouldn't take that personally (and I don't, but maybe I should), but people are supposed to travel across the country regardless of their life circumstances... got it. I'll pass that on.

I think I'm getting crabby so I'm signing off and going to bed. Love you.

Her

it's not like i'm intentionally not trying to see, I am poor okay fucking poor, we don't have money or even a house. We made a total of 19,000 last year for 4 people to survive on. I'm doing the best that I can with what little I have.

Me

I understand that, but you are judging people without understanding their circumstances. Even if someone is NOT dirt poor, they have to make choices with their time and resources. I have spent most of my time off at medical appointments the last few years so you can give me a fucking break for not being able to visit all of my relatives all over the country. I might actually get to take a vacation this year and I'm going to see family and now I getting grief over not doing it more or sooner. Anyway, it doesn't matter why I haven't, there's no reason that your kids should think it's about them and if they do, they didn't come up with that idea by themselves, so I understand the attitude, but I'm not going to accept it as my fault. I've been getting the blame all my life, so no thanks.

Her

k have fun seeing YOUR FAMILY goodnight

Me

I'm trying to arrange to see everyone so I don't know how to make you feel like I'm only coming to see you, but it sounds like you'd rather not have us visit so you have more to poison your kids against innocent family members. Let me know if you change your mind. Goodnight.

I closed Facebook then so I wouldn't have to see any more of this mini-my mom's drivel. "Oh, woe is me, it's all my fault, everyone hates me, everyone hates my kids, everyone else is crapping on my life." W. T. F. Seriously, I can't make this shit up. This is my favorite part: you would think you would of be reason enough what more reason do you need. Yeah, people living your own lives 3 states away, how were you not traveling across the country to see me while I lived with a crazy person? I'm going to laugh a little every time I think about it.