We decided to go to the movies to use a gift card we've had for a while. Mick asked if I wanted to see Avengers in IMAX 3D and I was all in. It sounds like a few friends were invited but couldn't go, and I was relieved and nervous that we might actually have a date night all alone. It hasn't happened in quite a while.
I took the opportunity to talk to Mick about the issues I've been having, making sure to say this is how I feel rather than making it more black and white accusations or whatever. I let him know that I used to feel like he was on my side and I would really like to feel that way again. He loves this house and I let him know that I want to feel that way but don't even feel safe here. I need stability and am only feeling uncertainty and lack of control. He said he is on my side.
I also asked him if he could stand up for me when someone says something dick-ish to me. He thought that he was being more supportive by letting it go rather than bringing more attention to me in that situation. The best part is that he wasn't even thinking about the time I was, so now I'm wondering how many dick-ish things have been said that I didn't hear, or maybe I just ignored something because I've heard so much attitude. I was impressed that he had noticed and had made a conscious decision to address it the way he thought was appropriate. I let him know that I can see what he's saying but I also find it a little humiliating that my health isn't taken more seriously.
He doesn't really understand all I expressed but he will be on my side and that's all I ask. He is trying to wrap his head around what he needs to do and how it can be easier on other people involved, too.
At least I don't turn into an enormous green rage monster.