From most recent, working backwards:
- She talks about humidity making her ms act a hot mess, and I wonder if that is what is going on with my blechiness right now. She switched from refined sugar to sugar in the raw. I like sugar. :) Like her, In case I've never specified, I'm of the "Relapsing-Remitting Multiple Sclerosis" (RRMS) flavor.
- I. Hate. Getting up. Just to pee. And I think I do talk to ms, although sometimes I'm talking to God or to the voices in my head. (Are those ms too?) And I HATE the creepy crawly sensation. me:::feeling something crawling on my foot:::rubbing opposite foot over that spot:::nothing there. Then feeling something crawling on my face:::rubbing hand on face:::nothing there.
"MS!"
ms: what! I couldn't help myself...I just loooooove youuuuuuuuu... - I have seen Weimaraner and Vizsla service dogs (rarely) and thought for a millisecond about my dogs. I love that her husband says "oh honey, he's just helping you to stay active." That is totally something my man would say.
- I love to hike, and even got Cassi to be my hiking dog (pre-ms). I used to revel in the stinging in my legs that indicated I'd had a great hike. And then I met numbness. It's not the same. I still love a hike, but I just know, at the end, that might not be the satisfactory pain I'm feeling. I made it home by the grace of God and threw myself into the sofa, where I awaited the rush of prickly, stinging pain to replace the numb and tingling electrical short circuitry....it's times like that when I recall what I used to be....Fear, because hey...I was afraid. "[her name, my name, insert name here], come on down! You're the next contestant on The What If Game!"
- I make time to be thankful. And sometimes it IS the little things. Only the little things. But then there are the consistent and huge things: a great man, a best friend who is my sister so she can't get rid of me, lots of supportive people surrounding me to cancel out the crazies trying to bring me down. I've counted some of my many blessings, I've prayed my prayers, and I've both pet and yelled at the dogs...give thanks for another day of life.
- This is why I want another shape: And how did I look thinner in one picture and a lot like a contestant from Biggest Loser in another? And this is why I don't work out at lunch time: It took several hours for the numbness-followed-by-vibrating, popping, stinging sensations to go away, but I'm pleased to say that they did!
- When I go shopping, for clothes in particular, but not exclusively, I find myself hot and dizzy well before my companions are even thinking about breaking a sweat. I can't take ms out shopping for undergarments ever again. It just doesn't behave itself. At all.
- I know I'm not alone in my fight with/against ms, but sometimes, well, feelings are feelings. I don't know about you, but there are times I can feel very lonely. I can't really explain why, probably because it doesn't have a legit root cause. It's just a feeling. Feelings can be rough sometimes, right?...I'm so much more than a woman with ms. Plus, I have very little attention span. I love the "freakishly amazing" T-shirts, ladies!
- Tired and fatigue are not the same thing, and fatigue can cause, well, total confusion for me. So she says, from my head to her blog, doubt stinks, appreciate every moment, succeed with ms--meaning, do what works (I felt a little like my number was called for the raffle and the prize was a big helping of 'freakshow'! So I went rogue.), we are random like our disease, we have anxiety, get annoyed, find ourselves in a state of mental spew, and digress and, of course, take online help with a humor pill (really, bed is only for sleep?!).
We don't have exactly the same issues, but I certainly relate. Now where are my humor pills?
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