DRAFT TODAY, POST TOMORROW: Some posts may be in draft status until I (aka procrastinator extraordinaire) get around to posting them.

Sunday, June 8, 2014

Weekends wear me out

Oh, weekend. Where have you gone? Why can't there be more of you? Please be fatter.
Oh, ahem, excuse me. I'm just going to have a little breakfast. I mean, a HUGE breakfast. I love my waffles. My funny husband Mick says they are good but more filling than you would expect. Yeah, maybe because they are made with almond flour. No one is making you eat that many...
waffle, nectarine, blueberries, maple syrup, BACON, coffee and OJ
I made the bacon in the oven and it came out good but there's a short time between soft and very crispy. So we have very crispy bacon.
So the dogs were out of food. That means a Costco trip. On a Saturday. Boo.

Then we went to Kohl's to find a suit and things for Mick. Success! With a $10 coupon and a 30% coupon, it wasn't as bad as expected. Although finding exactly what was wanted... But I got a new, bigger purse so I can carry the things I need without rearranging my bag every time I have to get or put away my sunglasses or purse or wallet. And it was on clearance because it was yellow. The same purse in a neutral color was "on sale" for $75!

Sunday, we went to the in-laws for a swim party. I can't do any of that with my eye still wonky but we did let Teka play in the pool with the kids. My FIL made me a couple of burger patties that I ate with ketchup and plain Ruffles. I also had a cookie from my own stash.
This is how I feel!
After returning the dogs to our house, we met a friend at Kona Grill for a drink and dinner. We had some stuff to talk about. I had a revelation...on accident.
Hibiscus margarita
But first I was served this beautiful meal on a couple of banana leaves. Um, is that an issue for someone with a banana allergy? Well, I pulled them off the plate right away and ate the meal. I don't know if that was a terrible idea or not. I was hungry and too tired to fight.
Swordfish with a fruit (no banana) salsa, rice and green beans.
So as we were talking with our friend, I commented on how I had made choices with my career based on the uncertainty of how MS will affect me during my working years. That I can't have my own business or be a partner because, if something is going to happen, it may be sudden, without warning, and I won't know how long it will last, or if it will even be temporary.

I have not been able to pursue all the opportunities I could have because of my limitations with energy as well as the larger than normal amount of time I need out of the office for various medical and related appointments. Therefore, I cannot commit the time to work that is necessary for some of those opportunities I have had to let pass me by.

I didn't think it was a big deal at the time but Mick told me that it sounded like I "choked up" and got emotional even saying something about it. And then I felt very emotional that I've been compromised by this fucking disease. I'm surprised I said something to this friend to start with. I mean, we're friends but it's not something we talk about. Although I don't really talk much about it anyway. What am I going to say? It's just worrying about things I can't control. It's just complaining about symptoms that I have all the time in some form or another that probably won't ever completely go away, if at all. What's the damn point? Sometimes it's more frustrating trying to explain myself than to just "be fine."

As much as MS Warriors like to say that "I have MS; MS doesn't have me," I think MS gets the upper hand way too much.

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