Crappy.

I woke up feeling crappy. My head hurt and I just generally felt blechy. I felt like I was moving in slow motion, but I got ready and headed out. My husband had the day off and I was going to the Naturopathic College for two appointments before going to work. I went to the bathroom, just a little, when I got there and felt just a tiny bit better briefly.

I saw Dr. M first for my adjustment. There were two students I had met at previous appointments. My headache was pretty bad by then so he was talking to the students about diagnosing headaches. It sounded like he felt it was a hypertension headache although they did talk about another type that I can't recall now.

They also talked about the relationship between the upper and lower back as he was adjusting near the top to adjust the mid-lower back. I felt better when he was done, but I didn't feel good. I had started crying as soon as the students were asking about how I felt and had pretty much cried the whole time I was there. Dr. M picked up a magazine that was left on the counter and pointed at the title and said that was me. Lucky. Really? How the hell am *I* lucky? I let it go, but I really wanted to disagree. Loudly and vehemently. But I felt too crappy.

I had a new student for my visit with Dr. H. I told her that I was feeling bad and of course, I was crying in no time. The other doctor who works with Dr. H (but I always forget her name) stopped in and seemed a little, I want to say freaked out, but probably just concerned. She sent the student to find Dr. H, who came in very quickly; it seemed she thought it was an emergency. I must have really been freaking out or at least freaking everyone else out. They gave me some Rescue Remedy--stuff I have at home for my Teka dog's anxiety.

The other doctor left while I was talking to Dr. H who had the student discuss my diet and medications. She seems to think that it's not related to my food allergies (although I'm bloated and having digestive issues) and she was very curious about the Celiac care kit. I have to admit, I didn't feel well the whole time I was on it, so she suggested I might need to stop taking all supplements.

She hadn't received the most recent lab reports from the endocrinologist, so I let her know that I have a copy and could fax it. She also requested the MRI report, and the details of the Celiac care kit. She wanted me to have my blood drawn before leaving so she could see what was going on.

She also had the student give me a food diary to feel out. She wanted the student to discuss my diet with me, including why I was excluding each item--um, basically cause I don't think I feel well after eating those things. I felt like she was saying that I am putting things on my list that don't have to be there. The student, after hearing that I stopped eating wheat in August of last year, gave me some ridiculous comment about cutting my diet so drastically that it wasn't sustainable. W. T. F. people? If I'm allergic or even sensitive to something, why would I keep eating it? Oh, even better, Dr. H added seafood to my "no" list because of iodine.

She seems pretty certain that my symptoms are symptoms of Graves disease and/or of the medication I'm taking for Graves. Unfortunately, I can't really agree with that assessment since I've been feeling like this for years. It had gotten a lot better for a while but still, I know that it was going on before the Graves. I felt too crappy to argue. I just wanted to feel better.

When they were all out of the room, I laid down. My head just about exploded when I laid down. I closed my eyes and saw stars. Like being in the Starship Enterprise traveling through space--moving stars. Unbelievable pain, head and low, low back.

They came back in and I told them how bad I was feeling. They wanted me to stay there and relax. The other doctor gave me some (I think) magnesium homeopathic tablets. Dr. H told me to go home rather than going to work. Eventually I was able to get back up and they sent me to get my blood drawn. When we were waiting for the lady at the desk to process my paperwork, I felt sick to my stomach. Oh, hell--I haven't thrown up from being in pain in a long time. Well, I made it without getting sick, got my blood drawn, and headed to the car where I adjusted my mirror up.

I went home and called in sick to work. That made me feel a little sick too. I have a lot of stuff to get done and I'm going home instead. Really? *sigh* I had some gluten-free chicken nuggets with barbecue sauce and tator tots with ketchup. Then I slept for four hours. I still have a headache.

Z's Greek, round 2

Our office is having lunch from Z's Greek today, so I received an email a few days ago with the menu and a deadline for an order.  I thought I knew what I could have, but I'm learning, so I called.  The very helpful man I talked to told me that I could (only) have the Greek salad with chicken, no pita, no feta, no dressing.  I could not have anything with rice or potatoes as they have dairy.  Ah-ha!  That explains why I didn't feel well.

Today, I had the salad, with some dressing I keep in the office refrigerator.  Not bad, but I'm not sure about the seasoning on the chicken either.  So I would consider this an *AVOID* restaurant.

Of course, there was cake and ice cream for the birthday celebration.  I knew I would feel deprived, so I brought some Enjoy Life Gingerbread Spice Cookies and some So Delicious Chocolate coconut milk ice cream.  The cookies are cakelike, so I thought that would be a good substitution.  I ate more of the ice cream than I planned.  Several people asked about the cookies and ice cream, and two ladies asked to try the cookies.  One has a diabetic husband, and she thought it was very good; the other eats a lot of artificial sweeteners (Weight Watchers ice cream treats for example), and she did not really like the cookie.

After I got back to my desk, I sent out an email with the cookie and ice cream information to everyone since I wasn't sure who was interested.  One person replied to me that she was impressed with how I'm sticking to my diet.  It's not a diet, people.  One replied to everyone saying that he found dinner for me, with a picture of a box.  Are you kidding me?  I'm sure he thought he was being funny, but I did not find it funny.  I don't think anyone else did either.  There was only one response, to me only, from a lady in the office who thought it was mean.  I was really upset about it--yes, I have a thin skin, this is nothing new--and someone else thought it was no big deal so I just kept it to myself after that.  But I really think that someone who considers himself to be a nice guy should not be such a dick.

On the other hand, the receptionist said that she wants to make sure we have those items for events so that I don't have to provide it myself.  I thought that was very generous but it seems unnecessary to me.  I mean, I'm the only one eating it, and it's not that often, so I'm going to take it home, so I might as well buy it, right?  I've made my point but we'll see what happens next time.

Consumed.

I was still feeling emotional this morning and a coworker brought me into a conversation about how thin I am, and I should stop losing weight, and I kinda lost it.  I started crying and showed her my allergy test results, pointing out the graph for the bananas, and then talking about what the hell is amaranth, and she said "It's like you have to throw out all the research you've done, and start over, do more research.  It consumes your life."  OMG, that is exactly how I feel right now.  She gave me a hug and some sympathy (or is it pity?).  I felt guilty for being self centered, especially first thing in the morning.

So, what is amaranth? 

• Amaranth is a grain used to make flour for baking. Amaranth allergy is uncommon but does happen. If you've been diagnosed with a grain allergy, you may be more prone to an amaranth allergy. 
• It is commonly used as an alternative to wheat.  Amaranth, a relative of pigweed, is a lesser-known wheat-free grain often sold as flour (though you can also find whole amaranth in some health food stores or by mail order). Amaranth is nutritious: It's high in protein and fiber, making it an especially useful choice for vegetarians with food allergies.
• It is also a food additive. An amaranth allergy is an adverse reaction by the body's immune system to a red food coloring called amaranth which is used in a number of foods and drinks.

Later, I had a phone call with someone in another office, and she told me that she's allergic to something but hasn't been tested, isn't sure what it is, but every once in a while she gets the numb lip thing.  YES, my lips are still numb.  I can't remember if they have been numb all the way since Wednesday (now known as banana oatmeal day.  National Banana Oatmeal Day.  If it's capitalized and says national, it's an official day, right?  You better celebrate it next year.  Happy banana oatmeal day!  I'll be at home under the covers, now that I'm scared of banana oatmeal.  That would be an awesome villian in a movie, wouldn't it?  Can't you just see this giant blob of banana oatmeal tearing up NYC?) or if there was a break in there somewhere.  (Okay, that was a really long sentence with multiple sentences inside it--I hope it doesn't give you nightmares of Alien or something.)  I guess that really still doesn't tell me if it's the banana or the oatmeal.  *sigh*

I had a meeting with someone else and ended up crying again; she even gave me a hug.  I went to lunch nearly right after that, and since I needed a run to the dry cleaner, I went to Babbo.  They had my previous favorite for the lunch special--Italian sausage pasta.  Well, you know what?  That's what I had, with gluten-free pasta.  I don't know what's in the sausage, I didn't ask, and I ate it.  It was spicy yumminess.

This will seem completely unrelated, but just wait--it's not.  I love the bloggess and occassionally will check out one of her commenters blogs.  I don't know why I do this--so many of them are super awesome and then I have to follow their blogs and it's just more to read in my "spare" time.  (where "spare" is defined as any time I can put off doing something else so that I can read the bloggess and her hilarious friends.)  Today, I had to read the post about why she can't get any work done, so that I could also use that excuse.  Alas, it is not useful in my office.  They won't let me have cats or watch Dr. Who.  It's terrible, right?

So one of the first comments had a link to his post about things he would rather do than eat light mayonnaise.  How could I resist?  While that post drew me in (I will not participate in that crazy scavenger hunt list), it was the bromance with a news anchor that has me atwitter.  Really.  Pun intended.  (Am I having a bad hair humor day?)

I keep thinking that I should be on Twitter, but I'm not, because it would be one more reason to not do any work.  Not at the office, the other "work" I do outside of work, like taking care of my house and my health and shit.  Literally shit--dogs and cats and toilets, oh my.  The more you know, indeed.  Is it just a coincidence that his website is called mental poo?   I think not.

Then he says "..and a Twittermance was born (trademark pending)".  And I'm hooked.  I must get a Twitter account now.  (But am I funny enough, do I have anything interesting to say in less than 140 characters, will they like me?)  How else will I ever have a Twittermance (patent pending) or a bramance (that, I assume, is the feminine of bromance; should I pend a patent?) without an account?  I already have blog crushes, which I assume are like foreplay for a Twittermance.  I need lots of bramance and/or Twittermance since my husband does not understand why I'm completely emotional about my food issues.  (I think this is a man thing.)  So maybe you'll see me on Twitter.

Bananas!

My student, K, started by reviewing my allergy results, then going through her questions.  Some things that I have not been eating regularly did not show as allergens but she said that was normal; she is Celiac and wheat doesn't show for her even if she eats it right before the test.

it's for breakfast

The big terrible news is that I cannot eat bananas!  I have been eating Glutenfreeda oatmeal for breakfast most days; the box of six packets has three flavors, including banana.  I will have to give away the packets I have left--I have been purchasing these by the case from Amazon in order to save money.  In the future, I can order the other two flavors separately.  I also use bananas in smoothies and "shakes" pretty frequently, and no more banana milk either.  I was really looking forward to trying banana "ice cream" so I'll have to delete that idea from my brain.  And I get bananas in my produce box every two weeks, so I have just updated my preferences to exclude them.

bananas. and cranberry?

The test graphs have 2 bars.  The lighter colored bar, IgG, is the (where I have some positive readings) which are "gut" and the darker colored bar, IgE, (where I *thankfully* don't have positive results) is the "antiflaxis."  Essentially this means the darker colored bars are what people call allergies and have symptoms where they can die, and the lighter colored bars are the ones that everyone thinks are not serious since you can't die (you just wish you could) or worse, it's all in your head.

She reminded me that I had coffee and dairy the night before my test, so I thought it was interesting that "whey" was off the charts but coffee was not.  Although I'm not allergic to coffee, I'm supposed to limit my coffee consumption due to its inflammatoryory properties.

Goat milk and cane sugar

I'm still a little confused because she pointed out that I had a response (within the 0 to 1 column) to the goat milk and shouldn't consume it, but when we talked about other items to which I had similar responses, she thought I should just try them after eating clean for a month.  Hmm.

Another student, C, was present for the appointment, and he was actually the one who did my treatment today.  It was weird to get a Castor oil massage treatment for my shoulder from a guy.  He noted that the pectoral muscles tend to contract when we spend a lot of time hunched in front of a computer and they talked some about ergonomics.  They suggested I be aware of balancing both sides, like if I am leaning to one side, then lean to the other, or carry things on both sides.

They also did "blocking" which was not at all what I thought it would be.  It is a way to gently realign since I'm lopsided.  With me laying face down on the table, he picked up my feet and moved my legs to different positions, then put my feet back down.  Then they put rolled up towels under each leg; on the right, it was closer to my hip and on the left, it was closer to my knee.  The towels stayed in that position until after the massage therapy was complete.

K reminded me to schedule the appointment with the "chiropractor" they recommended.  I won't be able to go back to Dr. H (I only saw Dr. H on the way out) for 3 weeks, so I may be able to fit another appointment in--we'll see.  I felt very good when I left but found that I was having some additional pain within an hour, maybe a residue of yesterday's breakfast.  I should mention that my upper lip has been numb since sometime yesterday.  This happens occassionally and when it first happened, several non-medical people thought it was an allergy thing but the doctors in my life at the time said no.  I wonder...

Pecans and carrots.

Now that I've been wondering for a while, I wonder if it's the oats.  After reviewing my results with my husband and talking about the confusing conversation with the student, I think I need to:

• 1. talk to the doctor (in 3 weeks!)
• 2. find an allergist or nutritionist to make sure I'm getting what I need in my diet
• 3. cut out everything that shows any bars in the graphs (I'm not even sure that's possible)
• 4. get another allergy test done (pay for another blood test), maybe in the next year (since the tests are somewhat not accurate, as evidenced by the wheat and egg graphs conflicting with my August test).  *big sigh*

He is really upset that I am saying that my life sucks, fuck my life, and crying and stuff.  Well, I'm fucking pissed that my health sucks so much and I'm so tired of my body betraying me.  Yeah, I know my life rocks in some ways, but I'm in pain, I've been in pain for the majority of 2 days, I can barely walk right now because of it, and I have to go throw out half of my food.  AGAIN.  So, yeah, I think at least part of my life sucks a little.  I know, at least I have food to throw out, at least I'm finding out what's been wrong with me for years now, blah blah blah.  Anyway, FML. Or at least my health.  I'll work on the gratitude tomorrow.

Armadillo Grill (again)

I was invited to lunch (on the boss) with a group, and we went to Armadillo Grill.  It has that sports bar vibe (they were showing horse races in the bar area today) but the food is better than sports bars.  There is still not much I can eat (sports bars and buffets--not my friends, I'm telling you) but they usually have some variety of salmon in parchment on their specials.

Today's special was with wild rice and veggies and a sauce.  My version was with a lemon butter sauce, white rice and seasoned veggies.  It was very good and I ate it all.  Seasoning makes me nervous, and the rice was not all that white so I wonder if there was broth I should be nervous about (or maybe it was the lighting), but it tasted good and I was already having pain.  Grr, pain, grr.  Their blackberry jasmine unsweetened green ice tea is yum.  There were a couple desserts ordered for everyone to share.  Everyone but me.  sigh.

I got back to the office, and the person who is most offended by my dietary restrictions (yes, you read that right, my diet totally inconveniences him) left me some bottle caps or whatever that candy is called.  Although the ingredients don't list anything I'm allergic to, it lists 3 or 4 artificial colors, as well as some questionable what is that stuff ingredients.  Oh, yeah, I don't LIKE gummy type candy, with few exceptions.  So I had to explain (when he asked) that I don't like that type of candy and that would actually be somewhat important, nearly as much as the ingredients.  I'm a terrible person.  And the worst dinner guest ever.

Every Single Day

The provided lunch at my work event was a beef meal; several people had the vegetarian option.  Arrangements were made for me to get a chicken meal with all my restrictions in mind, so I had salad with oil and vinegar, and a boneless grilled chicken breast with white rice and veggies.  The chicken was a little dry, the rice and veggies were cooked fine, but there was NO seasoning.  At all.  I ate it with some salt and pepper.  Instead of the crazy chocolate dessert everyone had, I got a fruit plate with a lot of melon; I ate the pineapple and berries.

On my way out of town, I had to make a stop to get some paperwork.  I changed clothes for my drive home and got a large ice tea from Panda Express.  Yes, I like their tea, even though I can't eat there anymore.  I forgot how huge their drink sizes are!

When I got home, I had a can of Muir Glen tomato basil soup which was good, but chunkier than I expected.  I recently had the tomato bisque (it contains no diary), and I think it was better.

During my trip, I visited with an elderly man whose wife doesn't recognize him and an elderly woman who misses discussing decisions with her (now deceased) husband.  As much work as being married can seem to be at times, I am grateful that I have been blessed to find this love, something I never expected or sought.  Even when he's jumping on my last nerve, I want to love him every single day.

Update: I'm certain the can of bisque I ate had no dairy ingredients, but this is no longer the case or I haven't been able to find it.  I'm certain I can make bisque by adding alternative milk (which one, which one?) to the tomato basil soup and maybe using the immersion blender to make it less chunky.

Durant's

I've been having some trouble getting dressed in the morning.  I wanted to dress very professionally today, so I found a black blazer that worked well with a blouse I have.  I tried on a pair of pants--too big, then another--the black didn't match the blazer, then another--too big.  So I put on my skirt--a little too big but not noticeable.  I was wearing peep toe slingback shoes, and I just recently found out that you are NOT supposed to wear pantyhose with those (I usually just wear them with pants) so I went with bare legs.  Someone at work said I was "out of code" but someone else said I couldn't wear hose with them, so....

Sometimes, you meet someone who is brilliant and interesting, and you want to absorb everything they say.  I was able to get invited to dinner with a group after our meeting.  The dinner was a the historic Durant's.  Apparently, this wheat thing is getting incredibly common, as the waiter interrupted me when I started to tell him about my wheat allergy.  He told me that all the sauces, even the au jus, have gluten.  The safe foods were one of the steaks (not for me) or salmon with no sauce, and either mashed potatoes (dairy) or asparagus or vegetable medley.  I got the salmon and veggies, and the salad with no croutons.  Obviously I did not eat any of the bread or brownie dessert, but as everyone was going to share a dessert I decided to have a cappuccino.  I don't know why, I just wanted it, so I did it--I cheated.

I was actually feeling full, almost uncomfortably when I left to go to class.  The weight on the scale hasn't really moved so I don't know why everything seems so baggy, but I was hiking my jeans up during class.  I guess it's time for another round of closet purging.  And some shopping.  *sigh*

What I'm eating now

I've been trying products with some good results, some not so good results.  The yogurt (plain and flavored) made of coconut milk was not great and not worth the money.  The falafel chips were meh.

Quinoa flakes were an excellent discovery--it's like a Cream of Wheat substitute and it's pretty quick to cook too.

At Fresh & Easy, they had some Enjoy Life cookies on clearance, so I bought all three flavors they had: chocolate chip, gingerbread, and lemon.  The chocolate chip were okay and I haven't had the lemon yet, but the gingerbread cookies were surprisingly good.  Now, I should clarify that they are more cake-like cookies, but the flavor is awesome.  I've been eating them two at a time with a little glass of Peppermint Mocha Kahlua and Almond Milk.

I'm still eating the Food Should Be Good sweet potato chips and jalapeno chips and have found some cassava chips that are similar to Ruffles.  I also like the adzuki bean chips.  Unfortunately, they are all more expensive than "regular" chips so I make sure I eat them all!

I have found some really great goat cheese variations.  Most recently, I ate Gouda that I got at Fresh & Easy.  I'm planning to go back to Trader Joe's for some more cheddar, and I picked up some mozzarella at Sprout's.  I'm trying to rotate them as I want to make sure they don't go bad before I have time to eat them.  Waste not, want not, or something.

It's my fault.

I expect too much, and then I'm disappointed.  Or, even worse, irritated.  At lunch with coworkers, I was unable to find anything on the menu that I could eat, but the waiter (and the chef came out too!) came up with something for me--specially designed just for me.  I was appreciative.  It was pretty good, but after we left, I realized that I was still hungry.  So I was a little disappointed.

shrimp tacos and steamed vegetables

I came home and found beautiful flowers on my table.  They are from my garden.  Pretty awesome.  Other things made me a little irritated.  But it's the end of the day, I'm worn out, easily overreact, and to me, "it could be worse" means "it probably will be worse."  As seems to happen every time I'm excited about tomorrow, I'm worried that I may have eaten something or overdid something and won't feel well tomorrow.  But I won't know till then.  I guess this is anxiety.  But it will be better.  Or worse.  Tomorrow.

In unrelated news, I took my monthly survey--no change.  And I modified a recipe, basically making chicken with cranberry sauce and orange juice, and red quinoa with a little cranberry sauce and OJ.  My husband doesn't really like quinoa but he thought this meal was alright and he ate it all.  I thought it was good and I have leftovers.

Hi, my name is V and I'm a big spender.

A lady I work with came out of her way, into my office, to tell my that I look so much healthier.  Not thinner.  Healthier.  That made my day.  In all the years I've been trying to lose weight, it wasn't the number on the scale that really bothered me, although it did of course; it was that I didn't feel good and I thought I would feel better if I was thinner.  Hell, I DID feel better when I was thinner, so I think that is reasonable.  Unfortunately, that was before.  Before MS.  Before MS drugs.  Before allergies.  Before drug trials.  Before it was so hard to feel healthy.  Just, before.

I planned for, and took, a very long lunch break.  My first stop was Runner's World.  I was hesitant to go there since I thought I would pay more for shoes, but I wanted their expertise.  I have not had a pair of althetic shoes that really fit me great in a long time.  I've gotten rid of almost all of them as I lost weight, but have one pair left.  I noticed last night that my heel, even up the back of the heel a little, was hurting after I got home from running agility.  My heel has been moving around in my shoes for a very long time; it seems that my heel is a little narrow for the size of my foot.  It's not an issue in open shoes but I feel my heels moving in closed shoes.

At Runner's World, I told the man who was helping me that I need shoes for trail walking and for running agility; I wasn't sure I could get one pair for both activities.  He showed me how the bottom of trail shoes and running shoes are different and tried for something in between, leaning toward hiking.  I tried on a few pairs but the first pair, which were size 10.5 Asics, were the best.

I knew I was between sizes.  (Usually half sizes stop at size 10.)  The last time I remember a good fit in my althetic shoes was when I found a pair of 10.5 size BUM shoes at JC Penney Outlet, and those weren't even really athletic shoes, just super cute tennis shoes.  OMG, I hope that is not really the last time--that was about 20 years ago.  I am NOT kidding.  I remember picking them up--I worked there; it was when the store was still on Rural, before it moved to Arizona Mills; and it was before my car accident.

I took my custom insoles with me and he mentioned that they were probably making my heel sit up further in the shoe, so after I had tried the shoes on with them, I tried them without my inserts, and I think they felt better.  So my inserts really were a waste of money since I can't wear them with most of my shoes (professional and sandals) anyway.  He said the heel cup that I've tried is also making my heel sit up further in the shoe, so probably NOT helping.

He told me that his trick for my slipping heel problem is to skip the next to last hole when lacing the shoe; we tried this and the fit was perfect.  He also suggested a thing that you put in the back of your shoe that grips (like fabric?) as your foot starts to slide up so that it doesn't.  It wasn't a gel thing like I've tried in the past, but he said that it is sold at nicer department stores.

Once we decided on the Asics, he asked if I wanted to try the Vibram 5 fingers that I had asked about earlier.  He measured my foot in women's and men's sizes as I might be a little between women's sizes.  He brought me a pair and explained that I should focus on putting my big toe in first.  The right foot wasn't too difficult but the left foot needed more guidance since I don't really have full feeling in all of those toes.  It was a little weird to feel the toes individually wrapped.

Women's 42 and 10.5

I walked around in them and they were really comfortable, almost like being barefoot, but not quite.  He said they are washable and/or I can wear socks with them.  I forgot to get socks, so I might look for a pair to try, but they are fine without.  To break them in, I'm supposed to wear the shoes for a half hour at first and increase the time.  I really want to wear them for the agility trial this weekend, so I think I'll wear them tonight and tomorrow night around the house.  These shoes are actually less expensive than the others, but I can't walk trails in these.  A lady there said she wears hers about 3 times a week and I'll feel it in my calves afterwards, like when you exercise muscles you don't usually use.

I met my friend A for lunch at Babbo's, not too far from Runner's World or A's house.  She also told me how healthy I look!  We both had the chicken with roasted brussel sprouts, beets, raisins and goat cheese, mista salad (mine with no cheese) and green ice tea.  It was a great meal.  As we were talking the whole time, I noticed that I didn't eat quite as much as I would by myself but I still ate most of it.

She is having (has been having) some health issues and we discussed diet and her thoughts about the possibility of Candida.  A candida diet (part of the strictest MS diets I researched when I was diagnosed) eliminates all sugar.  I was thinking how hard that would be for me to do, but I've done it in small increments before, AND I would have thought what I'm doing now is too hard but I'm doing it anyway.  I woke up this morning with a new "zit" on my upper chest and wondered when I saw it, did I eat something that caused that.  Now I'm wondering if it was sugar and if I'm going to have to reduce my sugar even more.

I didn't realize that her husband is allergic to corn, peanuts, and tomatoes.  It's really amazing, and maybe a little disheartening, how many people are having these diet issues.  I'm encouraged by more awareness but wish it wasn't so sensationalized sometimes.  Yes, wheat is messing a lot of us up, but the evils of wheat--is that necessary?  And I should clarify, it's disheartening to me because nothing is being done from the top to address the issue; we all have to do our own research and then spend unbelievable amounts of time weeding through the food products to find decent products to consume.

We also talked about our dogs.  She thought it couldn't hurt to try the earplugs idea on Teka, but I should try it in practice first to see if she will actually pay attention to my body language enough for that to work.  She thought I should not get discouraged by a huge gap in Q's (qualifying scores) in Excellent; that it is a huge difference from Open to Excellent for Cassi.  And me.  She didn't really seem to think either of them needed to be moved to preferred but that I should probably be jumping them in class at the height they run in trials.  Right now Cassi jumps 20" in class and 24" in trials; we don't really set the bars higher than 20" in class for whatever reason, maybe to reduce the number of height changes.  And to give me a break, Teka only jumps 20" (her trial jump height) on nights we do exercises if our whole group is at 20"; otherwise, and on course nights, she jumps 16" so I get a break between them running.  It's something to consider.

We talked about family too, but that's just more of the same, right?  She thought my "shoes in the closet" story was hilarious though.  No, I have not told that on my blog and am unlikely to tell it here since I cannot protect the identity of the involved party or parties.  But I am totally going to put that in my memoir if I ever write one!

It's Monday.

I didn't feel great today.  Was it the "regular" corn tortillas?  Did I overdo it?  Is it just random?  Well, I made it through.  I entered a giveaway for Innocent Indulgence via Gluten Free Frenzy.  It would be cool to win desserts I can eat.  Cheesecake with no eggs, no dairy, no soy--can you believe it?  I'll take it!  And a coaching session, too!

Defining gluten sensitivity (also Celiac disease and wheat allergy)

2012 Hike #2

We went to White Tanks and did the Waterfall Canyon hike and another loop that connects to that trail.  It was probably a little over 4 miles.  It took a couple hours since we stop for the photographer.  We gathered a pretty good size crowd at one location when Cassi was on a rock; several hikers took photos of her.

We made lunch at our house--chicken with salsa verde, white rice, and beef tacos.  I had a taco and some chicken and rice.  I used some of the cheddar goat cheese for my taco.  It was fantastic.  This jar of salsa verde was milder than the last one (same brand).  I'm going to have to make my own when I have time.

Cheating Part 3 (of 3)

I decided to have my Egg McMuffin to prepare for my allergy and Celiac tests tomorrow.  On the way, I picked up a large vanilla latte (with almond milk) at Ground Control.  What a fantastic breakfast.  When I was done, I went to JCPenney to return some shoes I ordered online, and to get some tights since I just put a whole in the one pair I had.  They had a lot of clearance racks going on; it looked like they might be doing their pre-inventory sale.  I wanted to spend more time but decided I needed to go home to my own bathroom.  Other than that, I have felt okay today.

I was working at home, sitting at my desk in my office, when the smoke detector started beeping for a low battery.  My Teka dog had a total panic or anxiety attack!  She crawled into my lap and shook like a leaf.  It was crazy.  I finally went and got a little bed to put under my desk for her so I could get back to work.  Since I was done cracking up at her ridiculousness.  I'm sure she does not agree, but it was hilarious.  She's so goofy.

Just tell me what to eat already.

Now that it is Tuesday, I wondered if there would be some residual effects of my wheat-fest, but it seems to have all gone through pretty quickly.  Why such a different reaction from last week?  Was it the beer?  Was there something else?  What, what, what???

Someone told me that wheat has to be consumed within 48 hours of the Celiac test, so I called the lab to confirm.  I told them that I had wheat on Sunday; they said I should have some more sometime before my test.  *sigh*  I can't think of anything I really want; the things I can think of that I would kinda want are not available (to my knowledge) anywhere around my side of town, and of course I'm not going to the office tomorrow.  If I don't think of something tomorrow, I'm getting an Egg McMuffin on Thursday before my appointment.

My husband is not always a fan of my (healthy) cooking but we haven't come to this!  Home Cooking (as seen on Oh Noa!)

Cheating Part 1 (of 3)

It's the last day of my vacation, and my husband had to work, so I made other plans.  My friend and her friend met me for lunch at Lo-lo's for my first wheat cheat day.  I had a chicken and waffle with syrup, fried okra, and lemonade.  My friend was going to share the okra but we realized it might have corn meal or cornstarch in the batter; she also skipped the syrup since it might have corn.  I really enjoyed my last real waffle and fried chicken and fried okra--this was definitely the best place to cheat!

We look great!

We followed lunch with a hike at South Mountain Park.  It was pretty busy; finding parking was crazy, but worthwhile.  Great weather, great hike.  My friend was a little concerned that I may be losing too much weight but we determined that I really just need to put on more muscle as I lose the weight.  (I'm down to 155.)

found at Whole Foods

I made chicken with leftover potatoes for dinner.  The sauce I made with the chicken was really good.  It was some marmalade with about a third of a cup of water mixed in and reduced.  My husband really liked it.

Over the past few days, I've seen everyone writing about the New Year.  Last year, I resolved to improve my health.  I was really struggling, trying to figure out why I felt so crappy, why it was so inconsistent, I was so tired, working out sometimes made things worse, I was so frustrated.  I finally, accidentally, got answers.  I ended the year with hope that I am finally on the right track, that I'm getting more answers; I also have some frustration that I'm still having some issues, but at least they aren't as bad as they used to be.

So this year, I did not really make a resolution.  I will continue working on my health.  As I discussed with my friend today, I'm going to start working on toning and building muscle.  She would like me to coordinate a hiking group like I used to do as well, so I'll add that to my to-do list.

So this year, I will work on being healthy, give people a break and let the angst go, and be furiously happy.

Happy Freakin' New Year.

We got home at the wee hours after a night out at our friends' house for New Year's Eve.  At their house, no one had seen me in several months, so there were a lot of questions about my shrinking body and the allergies and my diet.  I ate Fritos and some goat cheese with cranberries, and I drank some tea as well as a little sparkling wine for the toast.  The men played with fire and we had a light saber fight with our huge sparklers that were more like flares.

black eyed peas

Before we went out for the night, I started my black eyed peas on their overnight soak, so this morning, I rinsed them, made some bacon, and got the peas started cooking with some bacon.

I made two kinds of cornbread to go with the black eyed peas.  The first was a modified version of the cornbread recipe I found on the glutenfreegoddess blog.  I don't have sorghum flour, so I used Arrowhead Mills All Purpose Mix, which includes some of the other ingredients, so I did not put in any tapioca/potato starch or xanthan gum or baking soda, but I put in a half a teaspoon of baking powder based on one of the comments about substituting Pamela's mix (which I don't have either).

got egg?

This was my first experience using egg replacer, which was kind of weird.  The method for cooking the cornbread was different than my traditional cornbread recipe.  Once I got it in the oven, I started my traditional recipe but found that I had run out of (regular) corn meal and didn't get more, so I used corn grits.

"safe" and not "safe"

They both turned out well, and I asked everyone to taste both.  They said the grits did not taste any different than cornmeal.  He later tasted the other cornbread and said it was good but he thought it was more like cake and he would want the traditional version for cornbread.  I thought it was very good and everyone who tried it agreed.  I wonder if it would be more like cornbread if I made it exactly like the recipe.

safeunsafe

A while after lunch, I came back into the kitchen and saw something that made my stomach jump.

My guests left and we watched the Cardinals game.  When it was almost over, my husband started asking about the quail that I was supposed to cook but forgot.  So he wanted me to cook it for dinner.  And I made dinner.  This may seem like a non-event but I was really angry.  He was supposed to take me to get wings and beer for my "getting ready for a Celiac test cheat day" today or yesterday or the day before and it didn't happen.  So I'm going to eat my wheat tomorrow when I am off work and then I get to be sick on my first day back at work.  I'll eat the wings next weekend for my second cheat.

quail, cornbread, potatoes

I used the fried chicken recipe from my awesome new book for the quail.  Since I can't use eggs, I used the egg replacer.  I really like the texture of the almond flour/meal and the spice mix was good for fried bird.  My husband liked it too!  He has no understanding of why I was angry cooking, so I'm just going to go eat my wheat with one of my girls tomorrow while he's working. And then I'll be sick at work this week.  Happy Freakin' New Year, y'all.

Last doctor visit of the year

I briefly saw Dr. H and spent some time with my students for the last time.  L worked on my back and shoulders (back includes the butt area as before) and then on the front, she focused mostly on the hip and thigh area.  We discussed the previous suggestion from my other student that I should get tested for Celiac.  She confirmed with the doctor, and I will get tested for Celiac and a more extensive allergy test in January.  The students started on the paperwork while L was working on my shoulders.  It was interesting, since they were not initially involved in my case, that they did not realize that I had Celiac symptoms--nausea, vomiting, pain, etc.  Dr. H came in at one point to tell them to continue their discussion (I was not involved) about the paperwork later so that I could relax.

I will have the test when I have my next appointment.  Since I had Celiac symptoms, the test should be covered by insurance, but the allergy test will be paid out of pocket by me.  I will have to eat wheat three times, about a week apart, between now and then.  They stressed that I should not go crazy, be moderate.  Since I've done so well sticking to my diet, they suggested that I pick three things I am most upset about never having again for my three cheats.  I'm so nervous about the after-effects.

Unexpected.

I took my lunch to work but then the office emptied out and I had to run an errand, so I decided to eat out.  One of my errands was near Babbo's, so I went in and decided to order something I've had a couple times, the pesto chicken (on the "blackboard" menu) with no pesto/cheese, and the mista salad with no cheese or croutons.  The chicken comes with roasted veggies on the side, in addition to the veggies on top of the roasted chicken.  Of course I skip the starter bread.  I love the green ice tea so I had a glass.

When my meal came, I was surprised that the veggies were ice cold; the chicken was lukewarm.  My waiter was MIA, but the chef and the manager were talking nearby so I went over, and told them that, although I've never had this happen before here, my meal is cold, could I get it warmed up.  The chef immediately said he would remake it and the manager apologized and said that they were just talking about that; someone else had just had the same complaint.  He didn't place blame or anything like that, they just started taking care of it, which I really appreciated.  Since the chef had already gone back to the kitchen, I asked the manager to remind him that I had no pesto or cheese.

My hot meal was soon in front of me, and I ate it all, with a second glass of tea.  When I got my bill, I asked the waiter if it was correct, and he said yes.  They charged me for my tea, but not my meal.  Nicely done!  Excellent recovery.

Pesto spaghetti squash with tomatoes

Last weekend, before we went out, I ran across some information about a cookbook that sounded interesting.  While we were out, we went to the bookstore, and I found the book.  It's my kind of cookbook--pictures of the recipes!  It also has variations and tips which will be very useful.  It is Paleo Comfort Foods (homestyle cooking for a gluten-free kitchen).  So I don't have a gluten-free kitchen but wouldn't that be nice....

I got a spaghetti squash in my produce box, so I tried the pesto spaghetti squash with tomatoes.  I made it pretty close to the recipe but I don't think I used enough basil or tomatoes, and I added two chicken apple sausages with the (pork) casing cut off.  The interesting thing is that it uses walnuts instead of pine nuts.  My husband tried it and said it was pretty good.  Then he sat down with a plate of it and decided the first bite was the best one; he couldn't eat very much of it.  It took him a minute to understand there wasn't any pasta; I don't think he liked the texture of the spaghetti squash.

I would definitely make this again.  Although this book has a lot of eggs in it, I think I will use it quite a bit.

Tea and tacos

cute cups!

A friend sent me to Teavana to get a tea brewing cup.  It's pretty cool, although it costs a little more than she said.  They had some really neat stuff, and I'm wondering if I should have gotten the tea brewing pot instead.  I probably would have procrastinated more, but I went today because I recently bought some bottled iced green tea that is kind of disgusting.  I don't want to buy any more disgusting tea!

I also made it to Victoria's to get a bra fitting.  Now that I'm down 30 pounds, I thought I should make sure I'm the size I think I am before I spend money on new bras.  They confirmed my size and I got a buy one-get one half off set of two basic (that means plain and boring, but can be worn a lot) bras, since I don't have much left from when I was this size.  I had a $10 coupon too, so it wasn't terribly expensive.

We had "date night" with dinner at Ajo Al's.  I had fish (ono) tacos, no cheese on the beans, and corn tortillas (at no charge!) instead of chips.  They have an organic margarita, which is the only one that doesn't use sweet and sour mix.  It was okay.  I wouldn't order it again if I remembered.  I wonder if they gave me a different one...