Well, hello, sunshine!

The world is a mess, so many people I know are going through a mess, and you know, I'm always a mess. But...

I play this song a lot in the morning when I'm waking up (so slowly...)

I know it's been a while and I'm not even going to try to catch up. Here's where I'm at now.

I'm in school! I'm taking online classes to get a Masters so I can teach university. I also want to teach financial literacy to high school and adult learners, which doesn't require the MS but I am treating this time almost as a sabbatical, or a get my shit together time. I am still working but very, very part-time. I spend the majority of my time each week doing work for school, going to yoga or the gym, and taking care of the household and the pets.

This year (after "quitting" my job, a story for another time), I made my yoga practice a priority, and eventually a habit. I have added a day or two at the gym with a friend who needed someone to go with her. Last month, I did the Whole 30 with another friend--and this story could seriously take up so many blog posts--but the main idea is that I agreed to do it with her because I was feeling sugar-dependent. I didn't feel different while on the diet, but I did end up losing about 10 pounds. I couldn't tell in my clothes until afterward because I literally started and ended the month on my damn period. (Yeah, that ablation didn't do shit for me except make me want to die right then; fuck all the doctors who have not listened and won't let me get rid of these parts that are killing me every 3 1/2 weeks.)

Oh, where was I...so the yoga has really helped me in a lot of ways and I am continuing to make that time and money commitment.

I'm going to be adding some walking/hiking now that it is finally cooling off. I have this super cute walking partner.

Bennie the Weimaraner

He's so big and strong, I am having to use a prong collar but then he is such an angel. I feel like he's a bit behind in training because of a lot of things that happened this year when/since we got him, but things are getting back on track. We have to do this field thing for bird dogs called a ratings test before he is 16 months old, so we started training with a couple of groups for that. He learned to swim a few weeks ago.

He's also been to his first dog show and he had so much fun and he actually got his first couple of points. Y'all know I'm not ecstatic about showing but it's hard to get a pup without getting that requirement.

My puppy's name is Bennie. I named him after my dad--his middle name was Benton. My dad died last year, between the time my Cassi dog died at age 15 and my best friend Barb died--all three in a three month period. It was a shitty time for me. My birthday a couple months ago was the first birthday in YEARS that I didn't hear from my dad or Barb. It. Was. Weird.

So that's the quick update. I'll try to stop back by in the very near future!

Grocery Shopping: Whole Foods edition

Mick thinks I'm crazy but I took this photo for you.

It doesn't include everything--like the purple asparagus, Earth Balance soy-free mayo, and almond milk. I always check out the local stuff and bought some honey and prickly pear syrup. I found the coconut aminos I recently ran out of. OThe Theo chocolate bars were on sale. I found the Mimic Creme that I've heard of (I'm looking for the whipped cream instead of the creamer though), and another flavor of instant oatmeal--strawberry, and eggless marshmallows. I was looking for the chili flavor Way Better chips; they had other Way Better chips but not those. And then I saw these Garden of Eden Pico de Gallo chips--the second flavored chips I found without yeast! I hope they are awesome.

Gluten-free Bakery

I felt compelled to try to do a little something about yesterday's food malaise. So I went to the gluten-free bakery during my super late lunch break. At least it was late because I was busy and not because of my malaise. My stomach actually started growling during my meeting.

Yellow sweater and ivory tights GO, right?

Anyway, the bakery storefront is tiny, with a freezer case full of goodies. After I sampled the vegan (no egg) blueberry muffin (yum), I scanned every label. I found several items I could have including scones, cookies, cupcakes, a large brownie, yeast-free pizza crusts, and the chocolate donuts like my SIL bought me before. They are like little donut holes in appearance but little chocolate cakes in taste.

For dinner, I made panang curry with chicken, zucchini, and red bell pepper. The panang curry paste I bought at LeeLees recently. I used too much so it was way too spicy but it was good. I don't know why I thought it would be more peanut-y; I was thinking about adding some to see if it would take some of the heat.

My goodies, my goodies!

For dessert, I had some of my donut holes with vanilla coconut milk ice cream. Oh yeah, so awesome!

The ahem-hundred dollar store

He has a Costco card and I have a Sam's card. His helper has the other half of the memberships. I like having access to both since neither has it all. I prefer Coscto for "kleenex" and I get paper towels at both--the large Costco towels for cleaning and the smaller Sam's size for the kitchen or napkins. He started buying Cassi's dog food at Costco.

I get Wholly Guacamole packets, Simply Orange Juice, and frozen wild-caught fish at Sam's on a regular basis. I got some awesome pickled asparagus there not too long ago. I also get Ritz bits, chips, and pizza rolls for the man. Shh, don't tell.

Costco is stepping it up and might just blow Sam's away as a food source. They have Kettle brand crinkle chips (salt, not flavored--even Sprouts doesn't have them!), organic chicken (breasts in packets or whole), grass-fed beef, ground turkey, organic frozen berry blend, organic frozen veggies, organic tomato paste (that was on my list; however, I don't understand why that brand has sugar in their diced tomatoes and tomato sauce so I didn't get those), Classico marinara sauce, organic salsa, organic coconut oil (I didn't get it but it was giant and less than $20), organic salad and spinach, and frozen pre-cooked brown rice.

He wanted to complain about how much we got but it's all stuff we eat or use. And we don't go very often at all. Although the rice is a splurge since I can buy cheaper, longer cooking rice but it is handy for the last minute, hurry, I'm so hungry moment.

Has anyone else noticed that no one is selling Tylenol or am I just having bad luck finding it?

Nourish123 Gluten-free foodie tour

It's Saturday so I have time to cook breakfast but not too much patience since I slept in and I'm hungry. I made stovetop cream of buckwheat cereal with some local honey and topped with some leftover pulled pork mixed with pineapple habanero barbecue sauce.

Breakfast of champions. Or me.

Although I put out the word that I wanted to go, I had no takers for this month's gluten-free foodie tour. Ken from Rock a Healthy Lifestyle managed to set up this event at one of my favorite safe places to eat, Nourish, so I was going, even if I had to go alone. I saw that it was almost sold out and bought my ticket. As my Saturday took it's course, I got nervous about making it in time.

A woman I've known for about ten years emailed me and my DH Mick about her son's move and his need to get rid of some outdoor dog kennels. After some calls and emails, we determined that we wanted them and would drive out to get them. Then we realized that they were too long (12 foot sides and roof!) to fit in a 7 foot pickup truck bed. So we scrambled to get a trailer we could hook up to the Pathfinder. We ended up renting a 5 x 14 box trailer and headed toward the dark skies east of us. Somehow, we managed to avoid the rain, loaded up the kennels, and made it home, just in time for me to get ready to head back out to almost the same area of town I had just visited.

I only knew a few people at the event--Ken, Kirsten the owner, Dan the chef, and Celiacandthebeast and her non-gluten-free-boyfriend. She got better photos than me, including (in order, but not all inclusive) the watermelon refresher which included chia seeds--good but textural, the biodynamic white wine--"better" than organic, the "taco" bar which included a walnut "meat" and butter lettuce--a huge hit with everyone, and the berry soup with cashew kreme--like dessert before dinner.

But I got a few photos of my own.

Yes, it's all vegan. The three bean chili is perfectly spicy, and not cooked until it's warmed for serving.

The entertainment at my table sponsored by Crispin Cider.

I ATE DESSERT: Innocent Indulgence lemon, mocha, chocolate "cheesecake"

Me and Kirsten. I won a PopChips basket. I wish they didn't use yeast in all the flavored chips.

I ate, I drank, I talked, I listened. I ate a lot. I overheard the chef tell someone he used nutritional yeast to make the cashew creme. I really, really seriously hope that's not true or I didn't eat enough to make me sick or that nutritional yeast doesn't make me sick, cause really, who knows what a brewers yeast and bakers yeast allergy really fucking excludes from a diet besides the obvious. (The gal at my table thought I should try the cider until she read the bottle and it described the taste as "yeasty.") I didn't eat the "cannelloni" which was super cute thin slices of zucchini wrapped around a nutritional yeast "cheese" filling. Anyway, I'm still a damn freak, even among freaks at the table.

Crappy.

I woke up feeling crappy. My head hurt and I just generally felt blechy. I felt like I was moving in slow motion, but I got ready and headed out. My husband had the day off and I was going to the Naturopathic College for two appointments before going to work. I went to the bathroom, just a little, when I got there and felt just a tiny bit better briefly.

I saw Dr. M first for my adjustment. There were two students I had met at previous appointments. My headache was pretty bad by then so he was talking to the students about diagnosing headaches. It sounded like he felt it was a hypertension headache although they did talk about another type that I can't recall now.

They also talked about the relationship between the upper and lower back as he was adjusting near the top to adjust the mid-lower back. I felt better when he was done, but I didn't feel good. I had started crying as soon as the students were asking about how I felt and had pretty much cried the whole time I was there. Dr. M picked up a magazine that was left on the counter and pointed at the title and said that was me. Lucky. Really? How the hell am *I* lucky? I let it go, but I really wanted to disagree. Loudly and vehemently. But I felt too crappy.

I had a new student for my visit with Dr. H. I told her that I was feeling bad and of course, I was crying in no time. The other doctor who works with Dr. H (but I always forget her name) stopped in and seemed a little, I want to say freaked out, but probably just concerned. She sent the student to find Dr. H, who came in very quickly; it seemed she thought it was an emergency. I must have really been freaking out or at least freaking everyone else out. They gave me some Rescue Remedy--stuff I have at home for my Teka dog's anxiety.

The other doctor left while I was talking to Dr. H who had the student discuss my diet and medications. She seems to think that it's not related to my food allergies (although I'm bloated and having digestive issues) and she was very curious about the Celiac care kit. I have to admit, I didn't feel well the whole time I was on it, so she suggested I might need to stop taking all supplements.

She hadn't received the most recent lab reports from the endocrinologist, so I let her know that I have a copy and could fax it. She also requested the MRI report, and the details of the Celiac care kit. She wanted me to have my blood drawn before leaving so she could see what was going on.

She also had the student give me a food diary to feel out. She wanted the student to discuss my diet with me, including why I was excluding each item--um, basically cause I don't think I feel well after eating those things. I felt like she was saying that I am putting things on my list that don't have to be there. The student, after hearing that I stopped eating wheat in August of last year, gave me some ridiculous comment about cutting my diet so drastically that it wasn't sustainable. W. T. F. people? If I'm allergic or even sensitive to something, why would I keep eating it? Oh, even better, Dr. H added seafood to my "no" list because of iodine.

She seems pretty certain that my symptoms are symptoms of Graves disease and/or of the medication I'm taking for Graves. Unfortunately, I can't really agree with that assessment since I've been feeling like this for years. It had gotten a lot better for a while but still, I know that it was going on before the Graves. I felt too crappy to argue. I just wanted to feel better.

When they were all out of the room, I laid down. My head just about exploded when I laid down. I closed my eyes and saw stars. Like being in the Starship Enterprise traveling through space--moving stars. Unbelievable pain, head and low, low back.

They came back in and I told them how bad I was feeling. They wanted me to stay there and relax. The other doctor gave me some (I think) magnesium homeopathic tablets. Dr. H told me to go home rather than going to work. Eventually I was able to get back up and they sent me to get my blood drawn. When we were waiting for the lady at the desk to process my paperwork, I felt sick to my stomach. Oh, hell--I haven't thrown up from being in pain in a long time. Well, I made it without getting sick, got my blood drawn, and headed to the car where I adjusted my mirror up.

I went home and called in sick to work. That made me feel a little sick too. I have a lot of stuff to get done and I'm going home instead. Really? *sigh* I had some gluten-free chicken nuggets with barbecue sauce and tator tots with ketchup. Then I slept for four hours. I still have a headache.

It's all about food. Well, mostly.

Since my girlfriends weren't going bowling, I decided to stay home and meal plan for my grocery trip.  I sometimes manage a trip to the grocery store during the week after work but it's exhausting and I don't have the energy to cook dinner when I get home, so I usually just do the quick-ish emergency trip when we're out of meat or milk.  I made some waffles for breakfast.  I'm still struggling with my waffle iron to figure out when the waffles are done, how much batter to put on, and how to get the top as beautiful as the bottom.  The first couple were pretty good; I put the third one, which was a little burnt on the bottom, in the fridge for another time (and then Mick ate it for lunch when he got home while I had some leftovers), and threw away the last one which was way too burnt to salvage.  I cleaned up the kitchen and started the dishwasher, knowing what I was expecting throughout the day.

After lunch, I headed out with a cooler and some ice packs in the back of the car.  I filled up with gas at Sam's, then headed in.  There weren't any carts so I knew it would be a quick trip, but I had "saran wrap" on my list.  I couldn't find any, so I did a quick walk through and picked up Simply orange juice and Wholly Guacamole individual packets for me, and pizza rolls and sour cream for him.  I left about 45 minutes after I left my house; the lack of carts definitely works more to my advantage than Sam's.

Next I went to Sprouts, where I found a sale on the vitamin and personal products area.  I've been an Oil of Olay girl for a long time, and have tried a couple other moisturizers, but have wanted to replace my skin care products.  I checked packages for soy and wheat ingredients, and finally got on my phone to check online about the gluten-free status of a couple.  The thing I don't get is that the choices for shampoos and conditioners is endless, but there are almost no hair styling products, and I found exactly two that didn't have soy (the brand had soy in all the rest of their products).  Also, why is there an endless supply of lipgloss but almost no other makeup?  Does being a health nut mean not wearing eyeshadow or mascara?!  I guess it's just something that I have to buy elsewhere, but I don't know where.  I ended up getting several moisturizers and facial cleansers and a toner.

I have tried five or six deodorants in the past couple years.  So far, I'm not impressed with any of them, so I picked up another one to try.  I ended up spending just over $100 in this section, so I got 10% off in addition to the 25% sale.

At this point, I realized that I had spent quite a bit of time reading labels and needed to get moving, so I headed to the food.  This is always an adventure!  I guess one of the hardest parts is reading a label and realizing that I can probably make it myself, and then debating about whether I will make it myself.  There was a panang simmer sauce, and I love panang, but why can't I just make the sauce myself instead of buying the bottle?  But will I make the sauce, that is the question.  For example, I can make marinara sauce, but I know that I won't, and I use it alot for a last minute meal.  I was using it with rice pasta, but found that I kind of like this spicy sausage, garbanzo bean, veggies and sauce mixture instead.  I think that once I make something, I can see how easy or hard it is and make a better decision, but until I have time to make the recipe, I am reluctant to get into making something complicated when I'm already hungry and tired.

Among the things I picked up were the Muir Glen organic tomatoes with chipotle peppers (4/$5, so I got 4 cans) because I love these in whatever quick Mexican meat mixture I'm making with beans to eat with some guacamole.  I got some produce and chicken, mostly organic, to balance out all the not-organic I knew I would get later at Fresh & Easy.

I got a few new things to try including some cranberry juices (can you say vodka?), some pinapple coconut juice (can you say rum?), some coconut milk chocolate yogurt (and some plain that was on sale that I can freeze for smoothies), and some Applegate Farms turkey bacon (mmm, bacon).

Once I was done giving the cashier my arm and my leg, I was ready to go.  I realized as I was leaving that I would have to go to F&E because I forgot Mick's white bread, among other things I could pick up there.

At F&E, I picked up more produce, because you can never have enough potatoes and sweet potatoes and avocados, and I forgot to get garlic earlier...  I have enough "milk" but I did get some of their salsa (Mick loves the pineapple chipotle), and then found tomatillos on the clearance rack--score!  The lady giving out samples saw me looking at the Jenny-O turkey breasts and she highly recommended the sundried tomato one but I wasn't comfortable with the length of the ingredient list, even if it did say "no gluten" on the package, so I got the one that had less ingredients, as well as the g/f corn tortillas they have.  I got a big tray of chicken thighs (more on that later) and some turkey cutlets for a recipe I had seen earlier.

I finally made it home and Mick's parents were already there, as I expected, watching the Coyotes game.  My FIL helped me bring in the groceries and then went to watch the game and I worked on putting everything away.  They brought steaks to grill during the intermission and I had leftover ribs.  We used my microwave potato bag for the sweet potatoes they brought to share, and they really liked how the potatoes turned out.  I did get to watch most of the game after that.

When the game was over, they left, and I cleaned up the kitchen so I could start the next mess.  I had decided to make a Tomatillo Chicken Soup from my favorite cookbook (currently) for my office Soup Throwdown.  So I chopped and cooked and made a huge mess and wore myself out.  Once the soup had been set to simmer for two hours, I took a break with some strawberries and Justin's Chocolate Peanut Butter.  Oh, so yum.  When the soup was "done" I tasted it and it was s.p.i.c.y.  I added some cilantro from my garden (who makes a tomatillo recipe without cilantro?), unsweetened almond milk and hominy with little impact.  I almost instantly regretted adding the hominy since not everyone likes hominy.  I wasn't sure what else to do, so I let it cool a little, put it in the fridge, and asked for help.

Update: My friend K (with English Setters and a garden) suggested corn and honey, so I added 2 cups of frozen sweet corn and some agave syrup (a little easier than my raw honey).  It did help, and I won the Throwdown!


Above all, you’ve got to love yourself enough to give your health priority.  (read online)

What I'm eating now

I won a giveaway at the beginning of March and *just* remembered that I never got the package.  I'm so sad--I was looking forward to getting all those gluten-free goodies from Jules by way of Gluten-free Frenzy.

Several ladies were in the kitchen today when I ate my late lunch and one of them commented on how well I eat.  She didn't mean it in the "diet" way but in the "that looks and smells great, and it's healthy, too" way.  It was leftovers of the sausage, tomato, pumpkin, garbanzo bean "stew" I made the other night, with a little salad from my garden.  I'm still not starving to death!

One of them told me about how she has changed her habits for better health and she is cutting sugar, although she isn't telling anyone so she doesn't have to deal with the grief.  What an awesome thing she is doing, and how terrible that "we" can't be more supportive of people when they make positive changes in their lives.  She also reminded me that some people live in their own reality, and we should accept that and move on to find our own place of gratitude.  Bless her heart, I think she's right and I appreciated her sharing that she struggles with that too.  I might have some raw cookie recipes for her with no sugar--I should totally try them too.  A guy in the office asked me about my Larabar too, which is essentially nuts and dates, no sugar.

I got artichokes in my produce box this week--it was ordered right before I saw that I have one artichoke in my garden, almost ready.  Okay, maybe it is ready.  It's the same size as the ones I got, but I thought they were supposed to be bigger when they are ready.  So I cooked the 2 that I got by steaming them with some herbs and then finishing with some lemon juice.  I ate one and saved one; the one I ate was pretty good, as good as it can be without a remoulade.

While I was cooking my chicken, I went to the garden to get some lettuce and decided on the Bibb lettuce.  I planted the rosemary I bought over a week ago; I don't expect it to make it but thought I'd try anyway.  When I was digging the hole for it, I ran into a very long red earthworm.  Yay--those are good for the garden, right?  Mick had put one in each of the tree wells when they were planted but he assumed they were all long gone, so I don't know if it was one of those.

When my whole chicken was done boiling (with some celery tops, onions, and herbs), I cut a couple large breast pieces off and chopped them up.  I added that to a pot of pinto beans and a container of salsa.  I served mine over a sweet potato.  Pretty good stuff.  I have some leftover and another sweet potato, and some additional leftovers for my leftover mashed potatoes.  I think this would have been very good over rice, too, but didn't think about it in time.

I finished with some Cherry Amaretto coconut milk ice cream.  I really need to learn to make some myself.  Or stop eating it.  Yeah, I need to make it myself.

Am I dressed to go to Nigeria?

Last night, as I was arriving home late, I saw my neighbors driving out of their driveway; they pulled up behind me as I was getting out of my car.  She told me that they were having a graduation party for their daughter.  It sounded like she was just giving me a noise warning at first.  I mentioned that we would be going to Mick's niece's birthday party in Scottsdale, and she started talking me into coming home early enough to come to their party for Nigerian food, drinks and dancing.

So today, after my agility fun run, we ran some errands.  He got his hair cut and then headed to Desert Ridge.  We went to the BBQ store so he could see if they had a rack he wants for his smoker.  Then we went to Kohl's; he found some shorts and shirts.  I got a size 6 (!) dress and capri pants and a couple of size small (!) blouses for work.  I tried on about 15 pairs of pants but couldn't find a good fit--I could put on size 4 (!) but they didn't fit well, and the size 6 didn't fit well either.  I also tried the size 4 dress but it was too small; the size 6 fits well but needs a little tuck in the middle.  Seamstress, oh, seamstress, wherefore art thou?

Sports Authority was having a grand opening, although there is another location about a mile or two east.  I tried on about 8 or 10 sports bras.  What a buzzkill.  Everything fit terribly.  I almost bought one, just to have one, but when I told him that it was just to get by, he said that I shouldn't settle.  And he's right--I shouldn't settle!  So I left empty handed.

We went to Pump it up! for the party.  The kids went through two rooms of inflated play spaces while young staff members played with (and policed) them.  Then the kids and adults were herded into the party room, where the birthday girl had a big throne chair to sit on and everyone had pizza and cake.  I had a Larabar and water.

That was pretty tiring, so we went home and I rested a little before we changed clothes and went next door to the party.  I looked up Nigerian food online to see how much concern I should have about eating dinner, and there seemed to be a lot of dishes I could eat, but there is still some use of flour and plantains, which I assume will affect me like bananas.

We arrived to find a huge spread of food.  I explained my allergy issues and she went around the island, covered in pans of food, and explained what everything was.  I got a plate of food, and realized that she really didn't understand some of what I said, while she got other parts.  Starting with the safe food, there was stewed bone-in chicken, stewed beef, rice that looked almost like Mexican rice, and a flour paste that they put in foil shaped like a potato and then eat with their hands with their stews.  There was a spinach dish that had something in it that I couldn't figure out, so I didn't eat the rest.  There was another stew that she explained partially as something you can't get here; when I tasted it, the texture was like fine scrambled eggs, so I spit it out.  I'm not sure I couldn't have it, but I didn't eat it.  I tried some of the fish, which whole fish chopped into large chunks and stewed; it was a little difficult to eat as I had to pick through the bones to get the fish, but it tasted good.  There was also some beef and bananas that she told me was okay (but it's not), and something like pate with an egg in it that she told me was not okay, and a beef filling in a fried flour triangle which I could not have, but was Mick's favorite.  The food I ate was very good, and she was very generous, sending us home with large plates of leftovers.

Everyone was dressed up--all the guys wearing slacks and the ladies in dresses.  There was a DJ inside, and ping pong outside.  We danced a little, drank a little, and met interesting people.  I'm glad they invited us to taste Nigeria.

Z's Greek, round 2

Our office is having lunch from Z's Greek today, so I received an email a few days ago with the menu and a deadline for an order.  I thought I knew what I could have, but I'm learning, so I called.  The very helpful man I talked to told me that I could (only) have the Greek salad with chicken, no pita, no feta, no dressing.  I could not have anything with rice or potatoes as they have dairy.  Ah-ha!  That explains why I didn't feel well.

Today, I had the salad, with some dressing I keep in the office refrigerator.  Not bad, but I'm not sure about the seasoning on the chicken either.  So I would consider this an *AVOID* restaurant.

Of course, there was cake and ice cream for the birthday celebration.  I knew I would feel deprived, so I brought some Enjoy Life Gingerbread Spice Cookies and some So Delicious Chocolate coconut milk ice cream.  The cookies are cakelike, so I thought that would be a good substitution.  I ate more of the ice cream than I planned.  Several people asked about the cookies and ice cream, and two ladies asked to try the cookies.  One has a diabetic husband, and she thought it was very good; the other eats a lot of artificial sweeteners (Weight Watchers ice cream treats for example), and she did not really like the cookie.

After I got back to my desk, I sent out an email with the cookie and ice cream information to everyone since I wasn't sure who was interested.  One person replied to me that she was impressed with how I'm sticking to my diet.  It's not a diet, people.  One replied to everyone saying that he found dinner for me, with a picture of a box.  Are you kidding me?  I'm sure he thought he was being funny, but I did not find it funny.  I don't think anyone else did either.  There was only one response, to me only, from a lady in the office who thought it was mean.  I was really upset about it--yes, I have a thin skin, this is nothing new--and someone else thought it was no big deal so I just kept it to myself after that.  But I really think that someone who considers himself to be a nice guy should not be such a dick.

On the other hand, the receptionist said that she wants to make sure we have those items for events so that I don't have to provide it myself.  I thought that was very generous but it seems unnecessary to me.  I mean, I'm the only one eating it, and it's not that often, so I'm going to take it home, so I might as well buy it, right?  I've made my point but we'll see what happens next time.

Shrimp and "ice cream"

I saw on Twitter that Whole Foods was going to have shrimp on sale today only, so I made plans to go at lunch.  I picked up a half pound, checked out the barbecue sauce (decided not to get it since I can make it, but am I really going to have time to make it?), and hit the frozen section to find coconut milk ice cream.  They had so many flavors, so I limited myself to an obnoxiously high number.  I checked out several other things that I didn't buy, except for the habanero marmalade I haven't seen anywhere else.

I also checked out the cilantro dip, and wrote down the ingredients so I can play with it at home to see if I can make it since I have so much cilantro.  (Is that wrong?)  Then I went through the prepared food and got some pineapple curry rice and portabello mushroom "pizzas" that did not have cheese.  Good lunch ideas but I'm not sure I loved either one.

When I got home, I was so exhausted from working late and driving home, but I had to make the shrimp since they couldn't be refrozen.  I cleaned them and made a recipe from my Paleo gluten-free cookbook.  Mick had something else but I gave him a little and he thought it was okay.  I thought it would be really good with (rice) pasta.  Of course, parmesan cheese would make it awesometastic, but that's not for me.  It was a lot of work so I'm not sure if I'll do it again, or maybe I'll cheat and use frozen deveined (those are always cooked, right?) shrimp and try it again.

Garden Update

tomatoes

broccoli after flowering

pepper in front, lettuce, carrots in back

swiss chard, turnips, beets, eggplant

cilantro in front, parsley, marigold, celery/broccoli/basil in back

rosemary top left, and squash

bibb lettuce in front, onions, kale (?) gone to seed

red romaine lettuce and radishes

arugula coming back, and tiny seedlings

ladybug on the swiss chard

fig tree

pomegranate tree

walnut tree

today's harvest

Biostack (awesome but discontinued) and other compost bin

ficus with compost

Before the irrigation lines are buried

Sunday Date Night, er, Day

I got up early enough to make pancakes for breakfast.  I misread the amount of oil so I added the rest of the mix I had and some more rice milk, and the pancakes came out great.  Since I'm supposed to be eating more protein at breakfast, I microwaved some cashew butter and spread it between the pancakes and then topped with some maple syrup.  It looked weird but tasted great.

I was unsure that my husband, Mick, was going to go with me to the Gluten-Free Expo, but he did.  We were kind of surprised that no one else wanted to go.  I've never been, so I didn't know what to expect.  It was very small, maybe 10 or 15 vendors, so I talked to most even if I wasn't sure I wanted to.  There was a hair salon giving free samples of shampoo and conditioner, and there was a couple of skin care product tables.

Innocent Indulgence was giving small samples of some of their raw desserts.  I had a cocao nib square which was interesting, kind of like a chocolate chip cookie, but not.

Sprouts had baskets of freebies.  Many (MANY) I could not use because they had soy, including the Larabars (they were of the chocolate varieties, not the ones I typically get).  But I got some Food Should Taste Good sweet potato chips and a "shake and go smoothie" mix in Vanilla Almondilla and Chocolat.

Next we visited the table for Wei of Chocolate.  Oh, yeah, that is for me!  She asked us to pick a picture of a flower we were drawn to and I chose a yellow flower which led to the Chai chocolate, and he picked a pink orchid which meant spicy and led to the chili infused chocolate.  We tried a couple samples each and they were awesome.  It seems expensive but I have to think about whether it is worth it.

I briefly stopped at a bakery table but moved on as soon as I confirmed that was not going to happen, and then passed by the Udi's table since I already know that won't happen!  Mick checked out the Planet Ale table and joined me at the Nourish table, where we were able to speak with the chef for a while.  I bought their new book, Freak at the Table--I can eat almost everything in it!

I went to the Arbonne table and got a sample of a "Digestion plus with prebiotics, probiotics, and enzymes" which the lady said was great to take if you accidentally have gluten or something your body reacts to.  I also got a makeup makeover from the makeup artist, using all Arbonne products.  Mick was skeptical of the benefits of makeup that is gluten-free; I can see the sense in using better products, I'm just not sure I can see spending the money!  I really liked the foundation primer and mineral powder foundation she used, but I don't typically wear foundation.  (maybe I would if I liked it?)

We went to Nourish for lunch, and based on the chef's earlier suggestion (and the fact that I haven't had teriyaki in many months since it "always" has soy), we both had the teriyaki rice bowl, his with chicken and mine with wild salmon.  I also had white ice tea which was very good and he had another Planet Ale gluten-free beer.  I was almost disappointed with the first bite of my rice bowl, since the salmon was on top, and there was no teriyaki flavor that I could discern.  Then I realized the teriyaki was in the brown and wild rice mix underneath, so I mixed it up and ate it.  We both thought it was very good, although he gave me his broccoli and snap peas.

My precious...

When we looked at the menu, I knew I was going to have dessert.  Because I could!  I thought I would order something with chocolate, but when I heard lemon cheesecake--no wheat, dairy, eggs, or soy--I could not resist.  It is made by Innocent Indulgence; it had a nut crust and the lemon cheesecake was creamy and tart.  I really liked it but he thought it was too lemony.  We agreed that the lunch was good, but for $60 (including tip), it seems like a major splurge.  It is nice to see that "safe" food can be tasty enough for people who don't need "safe" food.  Before leaving, I also bought a jar of apricot preserves, mango vinaigrette, and coconut vinegar, all products that they use in the restaurant.

We returned to the Expo to see if we could catch the Innocent Indulgence Raw Food demo.  It was already taking place so we went in and sat in the back.  It had started a lot earlier than we thought, so we were just in time to see the presenter make a green smoothie.  We were given a small piece of paper with 2 recipes and, as the helpers gave out samples, the presenter said that she used the recipe on the right.  I checked the recipe and then tried the sample.  After a couple of "sips" (it was thick), someone asked if there was banana since it wasn't in the recipe.  YES, there was banana.  Are you kidding me?!  You can't go to something designed for allergic people and then give them something, with a recipe, that does not follow the recipe!  I am not denigrating Innocent Indulgence as I think it's a great company, but the presenter did not really seem to know her stuff and made a pretty big mistake.  (Warning: TMI!!!  I had terrible gas the rest of the day.)

She also made a chocolate cherry smoothie, which we thought was more like a dessert, almost like an ice cream substitute.  She used a protein powder which she passed around (a couple people immediately asked about what was in it); it was okay but had stevia, which I usually don't consume.  I would consider making something similar at home using frozen cherries and cacao nibs.

After such an exciting day at the Expo, we went to another Expo--the Home Show at the Cardinals stadium.  We knew there would be a lot that we had seen already, but a few things we would want to look for.  Someone gave us free tickets on the way in so we didn't pay admission.



In one area, there were a few gardening groups, and I stopped to look at the succulents.  I've never seen anything like them.  We also looked at a supplier of organic seeds and transplants.  I was interested in some of the hot peppers but I don't need a whole packet of seeds so I'll have to check out their website.

We talked to a solar heating guy for a while about solar heating for a pool.  It was very interesting and informative and he showed us several photos to give us ideas of where we might be able to put the panels after we get a pool.

Clivia

I also picked up another shade loving plant for the area by our front door where we couldn't get roses to grow.  Several people were checking it out but they weren't looking for a plant for a shady spot, so I came home with it.  We planted it when we got home, and then worked on the garden.

I made tacos for dinner and they were so tasty, I ate too much.  I also poached some chicken for chicken salad.  Once it cooled, I added chopped celery, apple, kiwi, a tiny bit of cilantro left over from the tacos, a little lettuce from the garden, and some of the mango vinaigrette from Nourish.  (And I have the recipe for it now, too!)  Later, I remembered to add the chopped walnuts.

Chicken salad, pre-walnuts

Chicken Salad

2-3 chicken breasts (I used one package of the 6 pack from Costco or Sam's), cubed and cooked
3/4 diced celery
1 large apple, diced
3 kiwis, chopped
cilantro or herbs to taste
1/2 cup mango vinaigrette
15 medium lettuce leaves, chopped
3/4 cup walnuts

Divide chicken in thirds (about a scant cup each) into mason jars or other lidded containers.  Add 1/4 celery, 1/3 of the apple, 1 kiwi, 1/3 of the lettuce, 1/4 walnuts, 1/3 of the vinaigrette, and herbs to taste.  Add lids and shake.

If you will not be eating the salads quickly, leave dressing in separate container until ready to serve.

Never eating again

I realized that I haven't gone for my fasting thyroid labs, so I scheduled an appointment for first thing this morning.  I was a little thrown off when the lab guy said that I owed for labs I had done for Dr. H.  I don't think I had any labs done for Dr. H except the ones that were done at the college clinic, not at Labcorp.  Great, I can add the follow-up to my to do list.

I hadn't eaten, and planned to go to Ground Control.  I went for a vanilla latte with almond milk.  It was very good, but I ended up with a lot of foam at the end so I felt like I wasted it a little.  I followed it up with an orange.

I was invited to lunch at Arcadia Tavern.  I had looked at the menu already and there's a lot I can't have but thought there were a few things that might work.  Three of the five of us had the roasted veggie salad.  I had mine with chicken and no cheese.  It had a raspberry vinaigrette, and someone else got the dressing on the side.  When I saw how creamy it was, I asked the waitress to check the ingredients.  It was safe and the secret seemed to be that they blended it.  It was very tasty and I ate the whole salad.

I had a terribly frustrating day; my computer has been acting wonky for three days now.  I managed to get some things done but everything took longer and I was just not so productive.  I stayed late to try to make up for some of it and had an apple with honey peanut butter.

Yesterday, I wasn't feeling great, again, and last night had the big "D" in the bathroom before going to bed.  I had more this morning and was actually feeling worse, although it comes and goes.  I don't think I ate anything I shouldn't have eaten.  I ate the most gluten-free thing on the menu at Revo yesterday and everything else I ate in the past couple of days, I made or could read the ingredients.  It's enough to make me want to stop eating.  But I guess I have to eat.  (I do have to eat, right?)  After reading Allergic Girl and feeling that I can't eat anything, I wonder if I need to be more concerned about cross contamination.  I noticed that Home Woot was offering Oneida utensils today, so I decided to order them.  My husband, Mick, gave me a little grief for being paranoid.  I'm not sure which is worse--not eating or being paranoid.

For dinner, I made a combination of zucchini, red bell peppers, diced carrots, Sprouts spicy chicken sausage, parsley from my garden, and rotini rice pasta.  I was very pleased with how it turned out.  I gave Mick some Parmesan cheese for his; he really liked it too.  Some habits are hard to break--since I'm not feeling so great, I finished off my little pint of chocolate coconut milk ice cream, about two servings.

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow." ~M. Radmacher

Stand in your power

I almost forgot that I had an appointment for Dr. H scheduled--it never made it onto any of my calendars.  Oops.  Fortunately, the only meeting I had during that time was moveable.

I arrived on time and a substitute student greeted me; my current student was getting an IV for dehydration.  The temp got my vitals and went through a lot of questions to update my file on my condition.  She asked about my diet and drinking (no judgement) and energy.

Dr. H came in and they discussed my energy level (best in a long time!) and stress (yep, there's a little!) and diet.  I mentioned that my improved energy, combined with my angry cleaning, even has my husband noticing my improved energy.  So we ended up talking about boundaries (and some peoples' lack of said boundaries) and standing up for myself and being empowered.  I'm a married woman so I know that compromise is a part of life.  At the same time, some things are important enough that I have, and I should, make them a priority.  At the risk of pissing someone off, I have to make choices that are best for me.  But I really hate pissing off people in my inner circle, as Dr. H called it.  As Sloane said in Allergic Girl, "Sometimes it's family that can be the most rigid and least understanding about your needs."

Dr. H was concerned that the quinoa was not gluten-free, maybe it was contaminated.  (I have since checked the box and it says gluten-free.)  The big concern was that I get enough protein and good fats.  I thought I was doing okay but I know I'm struggling a little.  The doctor and student recommended I eat proteins, more considered lunch or dinner food, for breakfast.  Eating fish or chicken in the morning just seems weird to me, although I love a piece of fried chicken and mashed potatoes or some leftover spaghetti with meat sauce for breakfast.  So they suggested that I make chicken salad, with fruit and nuts and my special mayo.  Hmm, maybe.

The student also spent some time going through my schedule.  The purpose, I found out, was to find areas of time when I can make batches of ingredients or cook batch food.  Obviously, I have a ridiculous schedule, as even she had trouble making a suggestion.  I didn't have the heart to tell her that her suggested Friday night batching was unlikely since I work late on Fridays unless we have plans with friends.  I understand the concept of batching, I just never quite get around to it in more than an extra day's worth of food or ingredients.  It's on my should list, though.

The other doctor came in a little after Dr. H left and restated several of the previous comments, that I looked like I was feeling very well, and that she wanted to make sure that the student emailed all of the information to me--that they should make it as easy as possible for me.  When she left, she took the student with her for a moment.  The student returned and told me how amazed they all were at my progress in such a short time.

Both doctors and the student reminded me that they want me to see Dr. M, the gentle chiropractor there.  He actually does the work and the students just observe.  On my way out, I made an appointment (for April!) with him instead of making an appointment with Dr. H.  She wants to see me every week or two, but I'm not sure what I am getting at this point besides a little therapy session and validation that I'm on the right path.

Upsetting or something.

I made the porridge as it was written, with pumpkin seeds, but using ground flax seed since I have it.  It seemed weird putting whole pumpkin seeds, but I tried it anyway.  It was terrible.  I will have to get pepitas or sunflower seeds and try again.  Seriously, it was gross.  I'm throwing those pumpkin seeds away.  I had an apple with honey peanut butter instead.

My prescription for Provigil has increased in price again.  To $459.67.  WTF!  I can't believe that I am paying over $400 for this!  I'm tempted to take it even less than I do now--I tend to skip it on days I don't work or at least once on the weekend anyway.  On the upside, I'll hit my maximum deductible faster.

I didn't have long for lunch after getting my prescription, so I picked up an ice tea and went to the office to eat my frozen dinner, Organic Bistro Salmon.  It's pretty good, and it's one of a very, very few frozen foods I can eat, but I was pretty hungry soon after.  I was worried that it made me feel bad, but it's possible that I was already feeling kind of not good, and there's really nothing in it that I can't have.  I don't know what the hell is wrong with me.

Chili throwdown

Someone in my office decided the next throwdown should be chili, so I made a new recipe on Saturday.  I didn't expect it to win (and I didn't!), but thought I might get some comments to help make it better.

Three others brought chili, so I asked each about their ingredients to determine if I could sample them.  One used beef broth, one used barbecue sauce, and one used flour, so that's zero of three I tried.  A couple people brought cornbread and someone brought a corn dish, but it was started with a cornbread mix, so those were out.  Some awesome person brought Fritos, so I had those with my chili, along with a salad with dressing I keep in the refrigerator.  Someone in the kitchen was really surprised to see me eating the Fritos; we read the ingredients and I joked that I won't starve to death since I can eat Fritos.

I asked about the chili, what I could change to make it more "chili" and didn't get too much help.  I think my husband is looking for that darker color that comes from beef or beef broth, so I might have to mix the meats or something.  When I told one person that I used spicy chicken sausauge from Sprouts, she told me she uses their sausage with some red pepper flakes and half a can of pumpkin and some chicken broth and serves it over pasta.  That sounds pretty good to me.

Productively exhausting

My friend K offered me her spoon yesterday, after she was done with her cereal, just in case I ran out of energy.  I ran out of spoons yesterday and kept right on going, all the way through today.

Against my wishes, I got out of bed this morning, did a few things around the house, and get ready to go bowling.  K made some "cereal" and gave me a portion yesterday, so I had that for breakfast.  I made it too soupy, but it wasn't bad.  I think it needs something sweet in it, maybe fruit or something or maybe I'll try sweetened almond milk next time.

When bowling, I usually walk up to the line, stop, find my mark and throw the ball.  My mark is very close to the foul line so I haven't figured out the moving ball throw that everyone else does.  I also do more of a lunge than the leg to the side thing that everyone else does.  I wanted to be more fluid in my movement, so K worked with me to change my starting position and my "mark" so that I could practice.  I think it will help but it seems so akward.

We had to go get gas before we met our friends for lunch, so I dropped Mick at Home Depot to return a leaky garden hose and went to get gas.  All the lines were about the same length, but the line I got in had the two slowest gas pumpers ever.  I almost changed lines, but I almost backed into someone who came up behind me, so I stayed put.  Hmmph.  While I was pumping gas, the attendant was talking to the lady on the other side of the pump about how he worked at a company for 18 years (after being at another company even longer) and, when he left, he took his retirement money out and spent it all last year, some on his girls.  Wow.

We went to a new Thai restaurant for lunch where I was told they don't use soy in any of their curries.  I had pumpkin curry with chicken with medium heat, and it was very good, with a nice amount of spice for me.  The pumpkin seemed to have part of the skin on the pieces, so I picked them out and ate parts of them.  The curry sauce was drinkable it was so good.  The ice tea was meh; I would get hot tea next time.

Mick and I had a list of errands to run, so we headed to Moon Valley to check on our pecan tree we've been waiting for.  N has been helping my husband and was there; he said the trees were coming in next week.  He checked to see if they had any ixora that was recommended for the shady spot between my roses by our front door.  He came back with one and said it was in terrible shape, but the best they had, so we could have it at no charge.  We paid for our buy-one-get-one Moon Juice that Mick is using on the trees and left.

We returned the cat food I had purchased for Jill right before she died; we bought some toys and training treats for the dogs.  We went to Target for some shopping, not everything I needed to look for there, but we got a baby shower gift (not on the registry--the worst registry I've ever seen; I know they've registered elsewhere but it was seriously all diapers) and some cleaning supplies.  We headed home and I laid down for a little rest while he took the dogs out.  And then we're off!

We went to J's for an Oscar party without the Oscars.  R made smoked pork butt, bacon wrapped venison, and chicken with soy in the marinade; he made another batch of non-soy chicken later, so that was my "dessert."  The pork was fantastic, the chicken was very good, and the venison was good.  I got my veggies, too; I had some salad with my meat.

We got home around 10, so I did the very minimum possible.  Good night.

Chili

We're having a chili throwdown at work Monday, so I wanted to make a trial batch.  I used this Ellie Krieger recipe, with some minor adjustments.  I used an orange bell pepper instead of red, spicy chicken sausage instead of beef, and a can of chili beans instead of black beans.  I also added an extra chipotle chili, a teaspoon garlic powder and a 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon.

It was spicy and pretty good, but Mick thought it was "alright, it didn't taste like chili."  Hmm, my chili throwdown is going to be terrible.

What I'm eating now

I picked up some Spice Hunter Jamaican Jerk Salt Free Seasoning, on sale, at Sprouts.  I put some on both sides of two pieces of chicken and pan sauteed them in olive oil.  Once browned, I added some vegetable broth and water and covered until cooked through.  It was not spicy at all but it was very tasty.  I served it with mashed potatoes.  I used Yukon Gold (my favorite for mashed potatoes).  I mashed the cooked potatoes with 1/2 cup of the potato liquid, a little Earth Balance soy free spread, some salt, rice milk, coconut milk creamer, and a lot of pepper.

I have tried several Enjoy Life brand cookies; so far, the gingerbread cookies are my favorite.  They are awesome with some almond milk and Kahlua.  There were some NEW! cookies: Crunchy Sugar Crisp Cookies.  Wow, I did not think that allergy friendly cookies could be so yummy.  Maybe I'm just delusional since I've been eating this way for a now and haven't had real sugar cookies in so long, but really, they are really, really close to real sugar cookies.