August update

My friend S asked me if I wanted to go to see the Piano Guys. We had a small group and it was so fun; they are great to see live. If you have a chance, you should go!

I took and passed my Insurance licensing test. Whew.

M and I went to see the Gipsy Kings. They are amazing. The venue was not amazing. The seats are smaller than airplane seats. There was NO leg room.

My friend from high school and my ex-SIL B had a birthday dinner for me. My cousin got me some pretty flowers, and I also got tequila because you know, tequila.

My sister came to visit for my Grandma's birthday. Grandma is in her 90s, so it's a big deal. She's also been in bad health for a while, but she's hanging out and doing the best she can. My grandpa takes care of her for the most part. My sister and I had a good time with a couple of our cousins.

I had a doctor's appointment so I got a prize, I mean treat!

Nami donut (and dirty chai)

Break

I realize I have been MIA. I have posted once this year. And that was only a Bible verse. I have a LOT of drafts and photos that may never be posted. The perfectionist in me is not happy about this. At. All. But.

But. Oh, where to start...

My posts became more infrequent and less personal last year as I started changing my story. See, I'm a good southern girl. Marriage is forever; you only leave if he's hitting you or cheating on you. You don't leave for all the other reasons that eventually make you feel less yourself, unimportant, stressed out, out of control, and hopeless. With some help from my sister and a few patient friends who didn't tell me what to do but let me know all the important things that eventually seeped in, I changed my story.

They told me:

My happiness is as important as his. I deserve to be happy. I am worthy. I need to choose me. Love yourself. It's okay to be divorced.

Ooh, deep breath. That last one...it was hard but my sister asked how I felt about her being divorced and then why it was okay for her but not me. Damn, girl. That was what I needed to hear.

But it took me some time. I thought I could make it work. He didn't want to go to counseling. PEOPLE! If your girl or guy asks you about counseling, something is wrong. GO!

I started the new year with bronchitis. I was so sick of being sick. I was tired of getting help that wasn't helpful. I was tired of redacting my blog posts to not offend potential readers who know me IRL. I was tired of relying on my friends for support my spouse did not want to give. I was tired of his jealousy of my friends who were just trying to be there for me as I fell apart.

I decided I would make my number one priority this year my health. I would ask myself "does this support or improve my health?" I wanted to be intentional about focusing on what I could control and (trying to) let the rest go.

Focus via the Behavior Gap

There was an argument. I told him I didn't feel safe in my kitchen due to the "help" I was getting from a family member. He assured me it was my kitchen; I should feel safe. But my food allergies weren't taken seriously. A few days later...

The last straw. Some people who get my allergy issues understand this was indicative of the relationship; others only see this as the last straw. I see it as both. He cut some Velveeta, which of course I can't eat, then wiped the knife on the towel hanging on the front of the sink. The one I use for my hands. And dishes.

I questioned him and he said I should assume the towels are contaminated. Um, then I should NOT feel safe in "my" kitchen. I realized HE was an obstacle to my health.

And I was done. I started looking for a rental. Someone pressured me into scheduling counseling, even if I had to go alone. When I told him, he tried to argue that we didn't need it. He decided to go when I told him we might not need it but I'm moving out.

So he went with me.

It was enlightening. He finally heard me. He said several things that opened my eyes that we were living his life and his dreams and he ignored the things I said, the things I let him know were important, and the things I needed. And it had been this way since our first date. No wonder I was so miserable. (Don't get me wrong--there was a time we were happy. And THAT makes me the saddest of all.)

I moved out. We hired a mediator. (I hate her; don't ask for a recommendation.) He decided to take an out of state transfer for work. (His job wasn't staying here.) We sold our house--his dream house, this overwhelming weight dragging me down. We split the dogs and the stuff, with the only real debate coming from my desire to keep our piano.

While I was looking at how to improve my health, some things happened at work that concerned me. I thought I would tackle getting a new job next year but several opportunities came up and I started a new job.

I'm currently in the process of buying a house; my rental is going to be sold soon so it is time to find my permanent place.

I have worked so hard this year to take this picture of what I want my life to be and make it my reality. I'm creating my bubble.

I will share a little of my bubble with you.

Octoberfest 2014

We had a larger group for Octoberfest this year, so in addition to my FIL driving us, dropping us off, and picking us up, we had a second driver, our friend M who lives near us and doesn't drink. And apparently is SO nice--who doesn't drink and then spends his Saturday driving drunks?

This coaster gets a big glass mug!

Someone backed out last minute so my cousin came with us. Mick wanted to be there early so it was a little bit of a slow start but we had a blast.

R bought shots. Of course.

There were lots of "saved" seats and a lot of them never filled up. We liked the signs.

I go both ways. Or do I?

I knew I wouldn't be able to eat anything or drink the beer so I brought chili, cornbread, Tito's and lemonade.

Suns Cheerleaders

Most of the group spent the night. R made breakfast. The person who had backed out of going was also supposed to go to the Cardinals game with R and his girl, so Mick was able to go instead. And I was able to spend the day relaxing.

Saddle Mountain Brewery

Last night, we went to our neighbor's grand opening. As I understand it, this is the first brewery to open in Goodyear. The service was terrible but it looks promising and hopefully they will work it all out. Mick invited our friend M, which surprised me since he doesn't drink (and some other reasons outside the scope of this blog), but it is a restaurant too. My SIL called and said Dr. Q told her to go out with me this weekend so I invited her too since Mick had already invited M. YES, my doctor told my SIL, who I sent to him, to go out with me.

I had sweet tea and a bunless burger with a "bare" side salad. My dinner came much later than everyone else's (pretty sure they messed it up and had to remake it) so I forgot to take a photo. The salad actually came first but since it had no dressing, I thought I'd wait. It was spring mix and spinach with cranberries and tomatoes. I finally decided I couldn't wait and ate most of by the time my burger arrived. The salad and burger were good. I think Mick and M really liked their pizzas and my SIL liked her sandwich. M and my SIL got a flight of beers and found one they both liked.

Even with the service hiccups, we had fun. They came back to our house to hang out a little before heading home.

Yep!

Today, I got my hair color done--wash those grays away! I mentioned to a couple people, including Mick, that I was thinking of going a little redder. Since I have some red undertones anyway, my hairdresser said she wanted to mix my old brown color in with the redder color this time, see how it takes, and then go all with the new color next time. It turned out fantastic.

When I came home, he told me he doesn't like the color. WTH. Can a wife get a muther-effin compliment in here? (The answer to that is NO, in case you don't know.)

Update: I have a photo on tomorrow's post if you want to see the color. No compliments necessary. I got them from M (who knew I was having it done) and my coworker/friend J (who did not know I was getting it done.)

Update 2: I sent Mick the free head shot I got at my recent conference and he replied with a comment about "hottie" so apparently I CAN get a muther-effin compliment! A little more often would be nice but I guess that's what I have friends for.

Visitors

We had "my" favorite cousin visit from Indiana. Okay, J is Mick's cousin, but she's my favorite person in his whole family. She brought her husband and son (little one) for 4 days and 5 nights.

She was very helpful in the kitchen and got the cross contamination thing right away. They are early morning people so they made themselves at home and figured out where to find things.

Happy hour!

The first day, little one got to see the F16s and F35s flying over our house. Then we went for a walk in the neighborhood. It was kind of hot and I actually got some sun on my shoulders.

We had the family over for a surf and turf lunch. The kids had a great time, running and playing. Cassi almost sat on the little one at the end of the day--he was on the couch where she wanted to curl up and sleep.

Cajun Halibut with rice, elk steak, artichoke spaghetti squash, salad

We went hiking with friends at White Tanks, the Waterfall Trail. It was a little bit hot still. I feel a little bad they didn't get to go on a bigger longer higher trail but it was a perfect starter trail for our group that hasn't been out for months.

Mick and the husband went quail hunting with my FIL and Teka. They got 3 and I had a couple in the freezer. That's enough for an appetizer!

Almost gone.

That was tiring--no naps but lots of go. They are really active as a family--playing football and Frisbee when I'm recovering from ask the rest. I can't wait for them to come again.

Things

Insomnia. Last night was not as bad as the previous but grr. Waking up and not being able to go back to sleep is frustrating. A couple of nights ago, I woke up so AWAKE that I thought Mick had just come to bed (and I recently found out he turns the light on when he comes in since I had just dozed off when he did it--I'm sure that totally helps me sleep well through the night.) But he hadn't so I was just wide awake. At 3 am. Awesome. And by wide awake, I mean EXHAUSTED but wide awake. Please tell me this is going to stop.

Automobile. My car starting acting up more this week. It feels like it's idling too high, except it's a hybrid so it doesn't freaking idle at all. WTF. The gas mileage went down about 5 mpg. Oh, and it did that stalling-ish thing too that they say it isn't doing because it isn't in the log. Apparently my car has it's own black box. And it's a liar. Liar liar pants tires on fire.

Relatives. My relative who hit on me is pissed that I told my sister. Like anyone who has known me for more than a millisecond wouldn't know that was going to happen. I'm going to see my sister soon on the way to another city for a conference so I'm super excited and kind of using that as the light at the end of the tunnel, something to look forward to.

#cancersucks. I'm writing my emotions away, or at least trying to. I think I'm done crying but I can't guarantee it yet.

Friends. I keep making plans with people and having random cancellations. It goes against what I loved about the person who just died of cancer. Accept invitations, show up, have fun. If it's not fun, make it fun. Okay, I don't always accept invitations, but I can't think of the last time I cancelled on a friend. Maybe my spotty memory is playing tricks on me.

Yep, sounds about right. ;)

Flash bandaid

My friend and coworker Shelly passed away last Friday from melanoma cancer. It's quite upsetting and I was a little shocked when I learned of her passing on FB Friday night. I thought I was handling it pretty well.

Then I went to work this morning. Um, nope. I'm barely holding it together today. I had to call my old client who became Shel's client and returned to being my client when Shel got sick. I had to tell her "in person" about Shel's passing before my company sends out notifications. Of course she cried. I cried. I can't stop fucking crying. I get it together for a while and then it hits me again. Her services are tomorrow so I'm going to be a damn wreck.

I had my drug trial monitoring with the neurologist, Dr. T. and the care coordinator L. It was pretty uneventful I guess. My vision sucks and is more terrible on the left. My reflexes are wonky, my balance sucks, I don't have full feeling in my left foot. But I move fine, I function well enough. Dr. T reminded me during part of the exam that I don't have to be a control freak, that doctors in clinical studies are the control freaks. Uh-huh.

Yes, I have some of the issues the doctor asks about but nothing that keeps me from functioning in my life. The memory lapses that come back later are...disconcerting but...I always pass the little tests the neurologists give me! Math, check. Spelling, check. Spelling backwards, check. What were the words I asked you to remember? Oh, never mind, Dr. T didn't do that one.

L started laughing when she got the bandaid for my blood draw. It had the character Flash on it. Sweet! I love Big Bang Theory. :)

#nerdalert

That was pretty close to the highlight of my day. I also chatted with M and talked with my sister so that helps some with my sadness. I'm so sad. I can't get stuck in this but I'm not fighting it until after tomorrow.

I'm going to be visiting my sister soon so I'm keeping my eye on that--the light at the end of the tunnel I guess.

...there are so many good days ahead, if you know where to look and if you remember all the wonderful people in your tribe, or community, or house. --thebloggess

Labor Day

After doing NOTHING yesterday, just hanging out with M and watching TV, I fell asleep on the couch a little after 9, then woke up around 3 and moved to bed,  then slept past 8 this morning. Our friend M does a lot of sleeping so he must be contagious!

I worked on cleaning up the kitchen. Mick's helpers had arrived early to help with yard projects. I have black eye peas and we have a random flower in the flower garden.

random white flower

Black eye peas

Although I did some housework, I decided to continue my rest and watched Zombieland and the Star Trek marathon.

Logic vs logic

I don't know if it's a gender thing or an engineer/non-engineer thing but some days...being married is at best, amusing and at worst, frustrating.

 

Before telling this story, I want to remind you that I'm married to a great guy who is my friend and is there for me when it counts. (Exhibit A: blog post last week describing the tea incident. He took care of everything while trying to keep me from becoming really upset about the whole situation.)

 

A few weeks ago, I was no longer able to print from my laptop. He suggested I was still connected to the VPN (work network) but I knew I wasn't. I didn't argue.

 

About a week later, I complained again that I couldn't print. He ignored it.

 

Again, I complained. Again I was ignored.

 

Then we needed to return a pan to Amazon that I had ordered for him. It was supposed to be a fryer pan but when he and his dad used it on the (thankfully not in my kitchen) outdoor burner, it leaked oil out of the bottom. FOR REAL! It's unbelievable; I've never heard of such a thing but he said there were some reviews that had said that, although most did not.

 

So I needed went to Amazon to get the return label. They allow the return label to be sent to another email address so I sent it to Mick to print. THEN he wanted to know why I couldn't print it and FINALLY looked at my laptop.

 

He tries to claim that I have problems because I keep too many tabs open. Unfortunately, most of the tabs I had open at that time were things I was waiting to print out!

 

After about an hour, he was finally able to fix my computer and I can print.

 

And he says, you should really take care of things as soon as you know there is a problem instead of letting it get this bad.

 

O_O

 

Like I have been sitting on this problem and never told him! Gah! WTH.

 

But now I can print. And I have permission/directives from him to text him the things I need done by him. Yes, I text my husband when I need things done. What has this world come to... (I'm old. Get off my lawn.)

No tea for you

In preparation for having two small parties on consecutive weekends, I wanted to spend this weekend making the house somewhat presentable. The main issues as I see them are making sure the dog bedding and blankets are clean (for people with allergies), the bathrooms aren't disgusting, and the common areas are picked up. The kitchen is also a priority but always an ongoing project!

Mick generally takes care of the floor and the outside stuff.

I planned on using Sunday for cooking for the week, prep for next weekend, maybe some grocery shopping...

It took me all day Saturday to wash all the dog bedding and various blankets, change the sheets on my bed, and clean the bathrooms. I also had kitchen things to do such as clean out the dog food bin for a new bag of dog food, wash dishes, run the dishwasher, make meals and eat and clean up...never-ending.

Mick and his family made fried fish for lunch. I was involved although I couldn't eat it. Don't ask. I made myself a pizza as consolation. At least he figured out it was a lot more work than was feasible for a party. I think.

We also figured out that you can't freeze onions and then use them for onion rings. Frozen onions become very soggy. They can only be used as "diced" onions in cooked recipes.

I made some sun tea and was thinking about transferring the tea to another container later to make some sweet tea. But while I was making dinner, I managed to drop the whole glass jar of tea out of the fridge. My hands just stopped working. I hate when that happens but I'm usually more on guard for it and this one just totally caught me by surprise so I didn't have any back up plan. It just fell on the tile and busted.

Poor Mick was such a good honey. He told me to stop crying and to stay put while he picked up glass and brought me some shoes. He mopped it up and just had me take the rugs outside when he was done in those areas.

And YES, I cry when these things happen. I hate that I have control of things one moment and then no control over my body the next. And I was tired and hungry and ready to relax and then had this major detour because my hands don't work.

So I have no tea. And I have no jar in which to make my tea. FML.

I felt like I was pretty productive until that point. That was kind of the end.

Sunday, I woke up with a painful left shoulder again. I tried to take it easy and occasionally stretch it. Midday, it started to pop very painfully but it felt a little better after each time. By the end of the day, it was just sore. I had done very little all day, just some reading and minor picking up and watching the Lord of the Rings marathon on AMC like we don't have it on DVD.

While I was reading thekitchn, I ran across their tour of the Lodge cast iron factory which (again? I don't remember if I had heard this for certain or not) confirms that they use a soy-based seasoning. So I have to strip and reseason all my cast iron pans. Just another thing on the list, right?

When it started to get towards dark, I went out to pick weeds from the gardens. I made a big dent in the weed population a few days ago but it's a terrible battle that I'm losing and I have absolutely no backup in this fight. Unless you count that sometimes others throw out the stuff in my buckets for me. I thought from a comment Mick made on Friday that maybe there had been some help but then I saw that was not the case. Oh well. I keep working on it and they keep coming back in giant patches.

I also pulled a lot out of the raised garden to start prepping for the fall garden. It started raining so I put the kitchen rugs out for a rain bath. Mick thinks that doesn't make sense but these are old cheap rugs that I can't put through the wash so they are just filthy from the dogs. Rain is better than no washing in my opinion.

I made another halibut recipe and Mick didn't like it. To be fair, I fucked it up by spilling the salt when I was measuring it so it was kinda gross but he didn't like it anyway because it was green. He would prefer that I stick with the one I made that he liked and never try any other. Sigh. It's so awesome being married to someone who eats like he is still in elementary school. Yes, I blame his parents. Yes, they know it. Yes, they agree.

I still had a lot to do that I didn't but I just don't feel like I can motivate myself any further. Are all productive days followed by mostly non-productive ones or is that just me?

So that Sunday list up top, I did mostly none of it. That means I have to make my breakfast sausages on Monday night (so the pork doesn't go bad), the sorbet and cantaloupe puree on Tuesday, the seasonings on Wednesday, the infused tequila on Thursday, the infused vodka on Friday (I can't do that one any earlier since it has strawberries), and the rest on Saturday. I also have a round of grocery stores to hit this week since I can't get everything at any one. Wish me luck!

Salmon for his birthday

We had Mick's parents over for dinner to celebrate his birthday. I love that he no longer goes with their family standard, the Red Lobster dinner. Um, yeah, I feel a tiny bit bad that we don't get invited to the dinners anymore since I can't eat there, but I get over it when I realize that he doesn't care. By which I mean that he would rather do something for his birthday that doesn't leave me out. Whoo-hoo. Even if it means I do most of the work.

I started with some proscuitto wrapped honey rosemary figs. Figs from our garden of course. And I hope you didn't blink cause they are gone.

He's pretty excited about the fish he brought back from Alaska, so I made an old Cooking Light recipe using salmon and a sweet/spicy rub. (I can't find it online, and believe me I tried. This is why there will always be cookbooks.) This recipe always comes out yummy and today was no different.

I made a salad using a kale, collard, spinach, carrot mix and the Bragg's salad dressing I picked up at Whole Paycheck. It was great. (I've seen it at Sprouts now too.) I also made a box of Lundberg gluten-free pasta.

I had some zucchini and spaghetti squash from the garden so I added a jar of Trader Joe's artichoke antipasto. My MIL liked it so much she went back for more.

Success!

Weekends wear me out

Oh, weekend. Where have you gone? Why can't there be more of you? Please be fatter.

Oh, ahem, excuse me. I'm just going to have a little breakfast. I mean, a HUGE breakfast. I love my waffles. My funny husband Mick says they are good but more filling than you would expect. Yeah, maybe because they are made with almond flour. No one is making you eat that many...

waffle, nectarine, blueberries, maple syrup, BACON, coffee and OJ

I made the bacon in the oven and it came out good but there's a short time between soft and very crispy. So we have very crispy bacon.

So the dogs were out of food. That means a Costco trip. On a Saturday. Boo.

Then we went to Kohl's to find a suit and things for Mick. Success! With a $10 coupon and a 30% coupon, it wasn't as bad as expected. Although finding exactly what was wanted... But I got a new, bigger purse so I can carry the things I need without rearranging my bag every time I have to get or put away my sunglasses or purse or wallet. And it was on clearance because it was yellow. The same purse in a neutral color was "on sale" for $75!

Sunday, we went to the in-laws for a swim party. I can't do any of that with my eye still wonky but we did let Teka play in the pool with the kids. My FIL made me a couple of burger patties that I ate with ketchup and plain Ruffles. I also had a cookie from my own stash.

This is how I feel!

After returning the dogs to our house, we met a friend at Kona Grill for a drink and dinner. We had some stuff to talk about. I had a revelation...on accident.

Hibiscus margarita

But first I was served this beautiful meal on a couple of banana leaves. Um, is that an issue for someone with a banana allergy? Well, I pulled them off the plate right away and ate the meal. I don't know if that was a terrible idea or not. I was hungry and too tired to fight.

Swordfish with a fruit (no banana) salsa, rice and green beans.

So as we were talking with our friend, I commented on how I had made choices with my career based on the uncertainty of how MS will affect me during my working years. That I can't have my own business or be a partner because, if something is going to happen, it may be sudden, without warning, and I won't know how long it will last, or if it will even be temporary.

I have not been able to pursue all the opportunities I could have because of my limitations with energy as well as the larger than normal amount of time I need out of the office for various medical and related appointments. Therefore, I cannot commit the time to work that is necessary for some of those opportunities I have had to let pass me by.

I didn't think it was a big deal at the time but Mick told me that it sounded like I "choked up" and got emotional even saying something about it. And then I felt very emotional that I've been compromised by this fucking disease. I'm surprised I said something to this friend to start with. I mean, we're friends but it's not something we talk about. Although I don't really talk much about it anyway. What am I going to say? It's just worrying about things I can't control. It's just complaining about symptoms that I have all the time in some form or another that probably won't ever completely go away, if at all. What's the damn point? Sometimes it's more frustrating trying to explain myself than to just "be fine."

As much as MS Warriors like to say that "I have MS; MS doesn't have me," I think MS gets the upper hand way too much.

Post surgery stuff

Today was my follow up appointment with the eye specialist. He said I'm right on track with my recovery. I should have the continued swelling for another couple weeks since that area is the deeper stiches. He warned that rubbing could tear it loose and require more surgery, so continue to dab rather than smear.

I wish I was as drunk as I look.

I am released from my restrictions and can resume Domestic Goddess duties.

It's cold!

We are making great progress on the yard. And by we, I mean my husband and his helpers. They are amazing; they just keep going, way past when I would be in excruciating pain for days. They are digging and moving rock that being delivered and even fenced in my tomatoes (against the dogs*) and covered a lot of plants for the freezing temps.


rock pile; covered trees



Moving rock

*The dogs, we presumed Cassi, have been grabbing a tomato or three off the plants. They don't even have to be ripe. The other day, I saw Teka in the grass with her nose to the ground. I went to check and she was eating a tomato. There were two more in the grass. Later, I saw Cassi in the same position so I called her, completely expecting her to ignore me. She came running, so excited, with a small round orange tomato showing, similar to those orange slice smiles we did when we were kids. It. Was. Hilarious. And cute. And I tried not to laugh since she was not supposed to have the tomato anyway. But it was adorable.

Cassi

Teka helping with the Christmas tree

End of summer weekend wrapup

I have a library book that I need to return. The Allergen Free Baker's Handbook seemed like a good resource but the first recipe I made, Morning Glory Muffins, was NOT good. Before returning it, I wanted to try at least one more recipe. I decided to try another recipe that had her "flour mix" in it: blondies.

her photo and my blondies

The chocolate chunks definitely made them tasty. I would use Enjoy Life mega chunks instead of cutting up 4 Choco-boom bars next time. I thought they were more like bar cookies than brownies. Mick did not care for them. Because they weren't brownies. Or something like that.

 

Next, I made Apple Buckwheat muffins, which use buckwheat flour instead of flour mix. They smell fantastic. They taste edible. I would not make them again.

Apple Buckwheat muffins

So just for the record, that cookbook was one for three. There was some good information about substitutions in the front but I can't see paying for so much hit and miss. Maybe I'm doing something wrong but I think baking just sucks when everything is adjusted to me.
 

One of our neighbors had an end of summer pool party. I am not so bright and wore my swimsuit and almost no one was wearing swim suits. Because the pool was too cold to swim. And the party started in the evening.

Party cake

I feel that sun's pain. My right eye (not the more common left eye) was dripping and watering and giving me grief all night. Terrible. But I had leftover brisket and mashed potatoes. And Tito's and lemonade. And a blondie.

On Sunday, we were going to run some errands so, before we left, Mick took some photos of Teka in the grass and on the patio.

My personal photographer capturing Teka

So we went to the home show, which was much smaller than usual, with his parents. We listened to the gardening seminar, checked out the nurseries, and talked to the sales guy at Arizona Ironworks Furniture. We'll need to go into one of the locations for our order though. (Add it to the to-do list!)

Sunrise something or something....

 

Love purple and yellow together!

Next we went to Fajitas for a late lunch. But I made requested that Mick stop at Sprouts (the closest grocery store to the freeway) so I could get chips to eat with the salsa. I'm pretty unreasonable like that anymore. I also order the grilled vegetables (the vegetable fajitas have oil but the grilled don't) to go with our shared shrimp fajitas. And no one else helps me so I take the rest of the veggies home.

 

After lunch, we went to Costco to get the Vizsla photos printed for the annual photo contest. While we waited, we browsed. Mick was in love with some outdoor stereo system, like a boom box with two huge speakers that light up in time with the music. All the men were checking it out. It seems like we don't need it at all but he was enamored. I'm sure he's trying to figure out how he can justify getting it.

 

I knew I wanted to get some more organic rice milk, organic salsa, and maple syrup while we were there. They didn't have their organic lemonade, which apparently is seasonal.

 

I unexpectedly found Wild Planet tuna. I've picked it up at Whole Paycheck. I can't buy just any tuna because anything with broth or soy is out. This is tuna and salt. Seriously--that's it.

 

I usually pick up some Classico marinara. It's gluten-free and clean ingredients. I've been picking up Rao's occasionally at the grocery store but it's super expensive. (I think I paid $8 or $9 for the last jar I got.) I usually get it when I want some puttanesca (which Mick doesn't really like but I love.)

 

But Costco replaced my usual Classico with Organic Classico. I briefly checked the ingredients and decided to try it. (although it doesn't specify gluten-free...the ingredients were "clean.") It's organic so it's gotta be good, right? Well, when I got home, I compared it to the other and realized what I missed. I can eat it, and I will, but the organic has sugar. Boo. Totally unnecessary.



Costco haul



I also found vanilla beans. I have to tell you--I bought a package of vanilla beans online and they came vacuum sealed. There was 16-20 beans. After opening the package to use a couple, I put them in a container. The next time I went to use one, they had white stuff on the ends of some of them. So I put the salvageable ones in smaller containers, divided a little more. Same thing. They are okay for a little bit and then gross. It seemed like a good value since individual beans are so expensive, but I ended up throwing a lot of them away. These beans at Costco come in a couple of tubes, so they are divided, and the tubes have enough for 2 or 3 uses, depending on what I'm using them for. I'll try them as-is before I start vacuum sealing packages of 2. Because that's extra steps, extra boxes on my to-do list, extra work, extra extra!

Garden update

Mick and his helpers have been working hard at cleaning out the nut grass and weeds, prepping the soil, and planting the "farm" last weekend and the garden yesterday.

pumpkin planted in July

mostly tomatoes and peppers
eggshells gathered from work were used

Palo Verde casting those shadows.
Damn nutgrass...

Jacaranda almost didn't make the winter.

Walnut (farm behind--rows planted.)

fire pit for yard waste, made from broken curbing

Pecan

Citrus trees--lemon, lime, dwarf orange
Wall progress in background

Fig

Pomegranate

Apple--probably not going to make it.

 

Second garden box
Existing bell peppers and Thai basil

Existing bell peppers and Thai basil

Second box from other end
Existing leeks, carrots, random basil from mixed seed, eggplant in back

Eggplant

Original garden box
New pineapple mint in front
Existing mixed peppers and basil in middle section

Original box from other end
Fern and new lemon verbena in pots
New chili peppers in box with some random plant coming up

strawberry patch replanted with kale and lettuce
existing tomatoes in front

one lonely strawberry plant made it through no water
tomatoes (I think Cassi is eating them already)

"strawberry" patch getting water

herbs behind the patch

wall progress behind the herbs/patch

I turned to the right a little
built-in fire pit and seating
outdoor kitchen behind

on the patio looking out
garden boxes are on left, other side of wall

Teka peaking around wall
incomplete stairs

Cassi and Teka at top of stairs on patio