It better be allergies.

My nose is running and my throat is itchy. It better be allergies.

Thursday things

a bird in the office courtyard

I had lab work done on Friday so I called my endocrinologist's office to find out if I need any changes to my medication. I got a call back that everything looked normal so I should continue at my current level of Synthroid. Wow, it's so unusual to hear the word "normal"!

can you see the blurry bird?

I also saw Dr. Q today and he pointed out my progress since starting to see me, that I am doing better, even if I don't feel like it all the time.

pants for work, and the doctor

But I looked so good.

I started my blog pretty unceremoniously three years ago.  I'm up to three followers!  If I ever get up-to-date, I'm thinking I should go public.  I'm boring enough that anyone who runs across it will probably keep going rather than stay, but it could be interesting.  And I would be able to search my blog if it were published.  Decisions.

I started my blog as another attempt to keep a journal, a recommendation by Matthew Taylor.  I was seeing him because of terrible pain issues that seemed super random.  I don’t want to live a mediocre life...It's draining.  He helped me cope with the pain and deal with some of my back issues.

Seven years ago, this month, I was numb from the ribcage down to my toes.  I saw a neurologist recommended by my friend.  I bypassed going to a doctor because I thought that I had done something to my back--the last time I had numbness was after my second back surgery.  (The back surgeries were due to a car accident that left me with a fractured spine.)  The neurologist immediately suspected MS, and said a few tests would be done to rule out other issues.  As we all know, every possibility was ruled out and I have MS.  I remember this month every year.  My husband's brother got married in Las Vegas at the Venetian.  I stood up for his wife.  She paid for us to have our hair and makeup done and I looked stunning.  No one could tell that something was wrong with me.  I was numb.  You can't see numbness.

Consumed.

I was still feeling emotional this morning and a coworker brought me into a conversation about how thin I am, and I should stop losing weight, and I kinda lost it.  I started crying and showed her my allergy test results, pointing out the graph for the bananas, and then talking about what the hell is amaranth, and she said "It's like you have to throw out all the research you've done, and start over, do more research.  It consumes your life."  OMG, that is exactly how I feel right now.  She gave me a hug and some sympathy (or is it pity?).  I felt guilty for being self centered, especially first thing in the morning.

So, what is amaranth? 

• Amaranth is a grain used to make flour for baking. Amaranth allergy is uncommon but does happen. If you've been diagnosed with a grain allergy, you may be more prone to an amaranth allergy. 
• It is commonly used as an alternative to wheat.  Amaranth, a relative of pigweed, is a lesser-known wheat-free grain often sold as flour (though you can also find whole amaranth in some health food stores or by mail order). Amaranth is nutritious: It's high in protein and fiber, making it an especially useful choice for vegetarians with food allergies.
• It is also a food additive. An amaranth allergy is an adverse reaction by the body's immune system to a red food coloring called amaranth which is used in a number of foods and drinks.

Later, I had a phone call with someone in another office, and she told me that she's allergic to something but hasn't been tested, isn't sure what it is, but every once in a while she gets the numb lip thing.  YES, my lips are still numb.  I can't remember if they have been numb all the way since Wednesday (now known as banana oatmeal day.  National Banana Oatmeal Day.  If it's capitalized and says national, it's an official day, right?  You better celebrate it next year.  Happy banana oatmeal day!  I'll be at home under the covers, now that I'm scared of banana oatmeal.  That would be an awesome villian in a movie, wouldn't it?  Can't you just see this giant blob of banana oatmeal tearing up NYC?) or if there was a break in there somewhere.  (Okay, that was a really long sentence with multiple sentences inside it--I hope it doesn't give you nightmares of Alien or something.)  I guess that really still doesn't tell me if it's the banana or the oatmeal.  *sigh*

I had a meeting with someone else and ended up crying again; she even gave me a hug.  I went to lunch nearly right after that, and since I needed a run to the dry cleaner, I went to Babbo.  They had my previous favorite for the lunch special--Italian sausage pasta.  Well, you know what?  That's what I had, with gluten-free pasta.  I don't know what's in the sausage, I didn't ask, and I ate it.  It was spicy yumminess.

This will seem completely unrelated, but just wait--it's not.  I love the bloggess and occassionally will check out one of her commenters blogs.  I don't know why I do this--so many of them are super awesome and then I have to follow their blogs and it's just more to read in my "spare" time.  (where "spare" is defined as any time I can put off doing something else so that I can read the bloggess and her hilarious friends.)  Today, I had to read the post about why she can't get any work done, so that I could also use that excuse.  Alas, it is not useful in my office.  They won't let me have cats or watch Dr. Who.  It's terrible, right?

So one of the first comments had a link to his post about things he would rather do than eat light mayonnaise.  How could I resist?  While that post drew me in (I will not participate in that crazy scavenger hunt list), it was the bromance with a news anchor that has me atwitter.  Really.  Pun intended.  (Am I having a bad hair humor day?)

I keep thinking that I should be on Twitter, but I'm not, because it would be one more reason to not do any work.  Not at the office, the other "work" I do outside of work, like taking care of my house and my health and shit.  Literally shit--dogs and cats and toilets, oh my.  The more you know, indeed.  Is it just a coincidence that his website is called mental poo?   I think not.

Then he says "..and a Twittermance was born (trademark pending)".  And I'm hooked.  I must get a Twitter account now.  (But am I funny enough, do I have anything interesting to say in less than 140 characters, will they like me?)  How else will I ever have a Twittermance (patent pending) or a bramance (that, I assume, is the feminine of bromance; should I pend a patent?) without an account?  I already have blog crushes, which I assume are like foreplay for a Twittermance.  I need lots of bramance and/or Twittermance since my husband does not understand why I'm completely emotional about my food issues.  (I think this is a man thing.)  So maybe you'll see me on Twitter.

Addicted to Pinterest

Source: a-pink-dream.tumblr.com via Vanessa on Pinterest

According to this, I'm happy, elegant, peaceful and patient.

Every Single Day

The provided lunch at my work event was a beef meal; several people had the vegetarian option.  Arrangements were made for me to get a chicken meal with all my restrictions in mind, so I had salad with oil and vinegar, and a boneless grilled chicken breast with white rice and veggies.  The chicken was a little dry, the rice and veggies were cooked fine, but there was NO seasoning.  At all.  I ate it with some salt and pepper.  Instead of the crazy chocolate dessert everyone had, I got a fruit plate with a lot of melon; I ate the pineapple and berries.

On my way out of town, I had to make a stop to get some paperwork.  I changed clothes for my drive home and got a large ice tea from Panda Express.  Yes, I like their tea, even though I can't eat there anymore.  I forgot how huge their drink sizes are!

When I got home, I had a can of Muir Glen tomato basil soup which was good, but chunkier than I expected.  I recently had the tomato bisque (it contains no diary), and I think it was better.

During my trip, I visited with an elderly man whose wife doesn't recognize him and an elderly woman who misses discussing decisions with her (now deceased) husband.  As much work as being married can seem to be at times, I am grateful that I have been blessed to find this love, something I never expected or sought.  Even when he's jumping on my last nerve, I want to love him every single day.

Update: I'm certain the can of bisque I ate had no dairy ingredients, but this is no longer the case or I haven't been able to find it.  I'm certain I can make bisque by adding alternative milk (which one, which one?) to the tomato basil soup and maybe using the immersion blender to make it less chunky.

Tea and tacos

cute cups!

A friend sent me to Teavana to get a tea brewing cup.  It's pretty cool, although it costs a little more than she said.  They had some really neat stuff, and I'm wondering if I should have gotten the tea brewing pot instead.  I probably would have procrastinated more, but I went today because I recently bought some bottled iced green tea that is kind of disgusting.  I don't want to buy any more disgusting tea!

I also made it to Victoria's to get a bra fitting.  Now that I'm down 30 pounds, I thought I should make sure I'm the size I think I am before I spend money on new bras.  They confirmed my size and I got a buy one-get one half off set of two basic (that means plain and boring, but can be worn a lot) bras, since I don't have much left from when I was this size.  I had a $10 coupon too, so it wasn't terribly expensive.

We had "date night" with dinner at Ajo Al's.  I had fish (ono) tacos, no cheese on the beans, and corn tortillas (at no charge!) instead of chips.  They have an organic margarita, which is the only one that doesn't use sweet and sour mix.  It was okay.  I wouldn't order it again if I remembered.  I wonder if they gave me a different one...

Who ya gonna call?

Seen at Litchfield Park Arts and Crafts event

Chicken and mole for dinner!

Halloween

Rodeo Queen?

We went to a neighbor's Halloween party and took some friends.  I wasn't feeling so great today, but after a nap I wasn't feeling so terrible, although it came and went.  I wasn't able to eat, but I drank water and socialized.

I wore my red dress again.  I really do not wear strapless tops or dresses. Or tiaras for that matter. Besides the fact that the dress was still too large for me on the top, I wore the hell out of that dress.

Dbacks!

Great game!

Get 'er done

I took the morning off work to run errands that are piling up.  I got my blood taken for my thyroid test, took my medicine right afterward, and then headed to Target.  Mostly I needed personal care and cleaning products, and they are increasing their inventory of brands I like or am interested in trying.  I was there about an hour so when I left, I was able to eat breakfast--a Larabar and a green iced tea from Starbucks.

Then I headed to Kohl's with my 30% coupon.  On my list: a pair of black pants, a pair of brown pants, a belt, stainless steel cookware set I saw in their ad, perfume, a purse, and boots.  I found the pants and got a few tops, including one that I almost didn't pick up but makes me look so thin.  I found a reversible belt so I don't have to get two.  I found a bag I liked for work but not a purse.  Well, I found a purse style similar to the one I have now but I didn't like the colors.  The only other purse I found attractive was too expensive.  I forgot about the perfume...

I found the stainless steel cookware next.  It's a little bit of an investment, but I understand from my research that I should minimize my use of nonstick cookware since it gets scratched and leaches toxicity.  The funny thing is that the set I bought came with a free pan that was nonstick.

I have been looking for boots for years.  And years.  Apparently I have huge calves or something.  So I was not excited about looking at boots, but I saw a pair that I liked.  As usual, my calves felt like they were being strangled.  Then I saw another pair that I liked more, and the sign said something about calf extender. I bought boots today!  Whoo-hoo.  I won't be able to wear them right away (in this heat) but they are super-cute.  And they were on sale and then discounted 30%!

I have a plan. Sorta, kinda.

I recently attended a seminar and have been modifying my planner (calendar, tasks, etc) system.  It's obviously still a work in progress--I wonder if it always will be a work in progress--but I do see that I made a dent in my to-do list, now my "master task list."  Unfortunately, I had to move a lot from last month to this month.

I also notice that I have a lot of recurring actions, so I am pondering a sticker or label system that might allow me to skip writing these items out every month, week, or day.  For example, every month, I need to create and send the VSWC newsletter; every week, I need to do weekly planning and bill paying; every day, I need to do daily planning and exercise.

When I have browsing time, I will look for calendar stickers and maybe downloadable pages that can be edited and printed.

I got a new phone recently, so I am able to see all of my calendars together finally.  I think I like it!

Out of control

I recently went to a time management course and I'm trying to modify my system to be more efficient.  I'm not sure I'm there yet.  I'm having a lot of emotional ups and downs and feeling very out of control.  I have this master list, and a daily list, and then all of these things happen.

We bought a new washer and dryer when we moved last year.  My dryer has stopped drying.  I have laundry all over my house.  I'm pretty frustrated by the extra work.

Maybe I've been more stressed than usual.  I'm having an outbreak of the vaginal type.  Off I go to the gynecologist.  Wow, that was painful.  They take blood and send me away with a prescription for Valtrex.  But I get a free gift with purchase: an order to get a mammogram after my birthday.

I go to Walgreens to fill my prescription.  I'm not feeling so well; I'm probably walking pretty slowly as it hurts to move suddenly.  A lady is walking nearby, and she starts saying (very loudly) "praise Jesus" and then singing the song that is playing on the store system.  I've never heard this song before but she is complaining very loudly about the lack of other people praising Jesus and wondering very loudly how everyone can just stand there and not sing.  Are you kidding me?  You are so Christian, you want to loudly worship in the Walgreens and then you are going to be totally judgmental about a bunch of (presumably) sick people at the Walgreens pharmacy not sharing your vision of how to worship our Savior Jesus Christ?  Maybe you should go home and read your Bible more.

In the past couple weeks, Cassi pooped and peed in the house.  We had the doggie door closed while we're retraining the girls that they can't bark incessantly at the neighbor dogs.  One day, I was working at home and she had been outside a couple hours earlier, but there it was.  Then she pooped in the house while my husband was home.  Then he came home yesterday and found that she had pushed her way out of her playpen (she can't be in a traditional kennel because she is claustrophobic) so that she could poop on the floor.  I was concerned when it started that it could be a medical issue, but it seemed more likely a behavioral issue.  That last one caused me to call the vet, so she went today.  They are going to check her poop for parasites (when I bring a sample in) and they prescribed an antibiotic and probiotics.

I'm checking things off the list but only because I have to add all of these urgent things to the list.

Control (caution: what follows is totally random)

I have seen several MS bloggers write that one of the worst things about MS is the loss of control.  I like to have some control, be able to plan, and have choices.  MS has definitely changed that.  (Well, so have some people and circumstances, but that's for another conversation.)  I no longer have "normal" control of my body, I can't plan on having a full day (or not), I don't think I have control of my emotions.  Okay, I probably didn't have such great control over my emotions to start with.  But I feel out of control sometimes, like what am I doing or saying--is it me or someone else?!

I was watching some episodes of My Fair Wedding when it occurred to me that I would not have been able to give my wedding to David Tuttera.  The end result can be as awesome as he thinks it will be, but we loved all the personal choices we made.  One of the things that made me think about this was a situation in which he moved the ceremony from the church to another venue.  I wanted a church wedding and some guy (who I'm not marrying) is not going to move the ceremony to a banquet hall.  I feel the same about those shows like Trading Spaces, where someone comes in and changes a room in your house without your input.  Yikes, no way.

My husband and I have had several cases of credit card fraud--and that situation always feels out of control.  In each instance, the bank called because they were suspicious of the charges.  This latest version was on my card, and the charges were being processed while I was working at home.  I used the card a couple of days ago, at a very nice resort in Scottsdale where I was attending a seminar, to purchase lunch.  I think that every time we have experienced credit card fraud, it has been shortly after using our card at a restaurant.  This is why we don't use our debit card for purchases.  Anyway, I won't be able to use that card (my rewards card) until I get the replacement.  Argh.

I guess I just control what I can.  So, when I'm feeling out of control, I check out the bloggess and laugh my ass off.  She just posted this video presentation on the Art of Being Furiously Happy (or doing ridiculously silly stupid things.)  Things I wish I said:

• In your life, you are going to be tested with tragedies...and assholes are going to try to destroy you.  
• All were moments that made me so incredibly happy and aware of the moment.
• I absolutely deserve to curl up in bed and cover my head and never leave again but I also absolutely deserve the right to be furiously happy.
• Allow yourself, demand of yourself, that you listen to that inner child...it's not just about you.  It's about the people around you that you bring a smile to.  It's about being furiously happy and indignantly joyous, because enthusiastic ridiculousness can change your day, and sometimes it can change the day of those around you, and maybe, just maybe it can change the world.

So, go on, ask a police officer if you can tase someone.  And watch out for that Zombie Apocalypse.

Focus (seminar)

It's hard to go to an all-day seminar, for time management!  Okay, it was really about prioritizing.  I think it was worthwhile, a refresher of sorts but I also picked up some tips and tricks.  I got a new planner, which I probably don't need (so let me know if you want a standard Franklin Covey planner cover!) but the pages are potentially better than what I was using.  If I use them correctly.  I am going to fulfill the commitments we made in the class today for homework assignments over the next month.  The things I'm unsure about are 1, he wants us to use "one calendar" for all time commitments (and I use 2 electronic calendars and one paper calendar to combine them), and 2, the weekly planning is to include both personal and professional planning, which will be a transition for me.  If it seems to be making a difference, consider me a convert.

Self help

I didn't write it but I think I like it.

A good lipstick says to the Universe:

1. I care.
2. I embrace being a woman.
3. I have style.
4. I pay attention to details.
5. I welcome beauty and miracles into my life.

A to Z about me (Cuz I saw it on Just For Fun blogs)

(A) Age: 39 (forever?)
(B) Bed Size: King
(C) Chore You Hate: Cleaning the bathroom (toilet included)
(D) Dogs? Two--Cassi the Weimaraner and Teka the Vizsla
(E) Essential Start Your Day Item: required--medicine; essential--doggie love
(F) Favorite Color: Yellow
(G) Gold or Silver? Gold
(H) Height: 5'7"
(I) Instruments You Play: Piano (okay, not really, but I try--and would be a lot better if I tried more often)
(J) Job Title: Staff Planner (or wife. or pet mother.)
(K) Kids: 2 dogs and 2 cats. Oh, human kids? borrowed (nieces and nephews or friends' kids)
(L) Live: in Arizona
(M) Mom's Name: Mom
(N) Nicknames: Vee, Ginia, Honey, Virgi, Ginny....
(O) Overnight Hospital Stays? yes, more than should be allowed at my age
(P) Pet Peeve: over-connected people (yes, you can put your phone away for an entire meal/movie/10 minutes)
(Q) Quote from a Movie: "I want you to know, despite my appearance at this function, I remain now, and will always be, the Duckman."
(R) Right or Left Handed? Right, but I was born left-handed
(S) Siblings: Lots!
(T) Time You Wake Up? 6:30am, more or less
(U) Underwear: yes :P
(V) Vegetable You Dislike: cooked carrots
(W) What Makes You Run Late: hitting snooze (more than once) and trying to do too much before I leave the house
(X) X-Rays You've Had Done: back, left leg, right ankle, left elbow (plus MRIs of the spine and brain)
(Y) Yummy Food You Make: cookies and cakes, salmon cakes, lasagna, enchiladas....
(Z) Zoo, Favorite Animal: Tiger

Scrapbooking and Starbucks

I registered for an all day (9 to 9) scrapbooking event before my DH committed us to a charity dinner on the same day.  All my scrapbooking gals backed out but I went anyway so I could get one of my albums near-done.  (plus I had paid and couldn't get a refund)  I forgot that we stopped doing the event at the Phoenix Civic Center because it has some logistical issues.  I did get a reminder the week before that parking was not super-close, so I trimmed my supplies to the least amount I thought I could "carry" in my rolling cart.

I also got a reminder that no outside food is allowed, but they have something there.  I did not get a notice that some huge cheerleading competition was also happening.  Or that the "cafe" only had junk food.  So I left to look for lunch.  My phone's Navigator found a Paradise Bakery, which I eventually found.  As many others who found it, I stood there a minute in disbelief.  It was closed.

I wandered around, looking for something light/small to hold me over till dinner.  I eventually found a Starbucks and had a latte and perfect oatmeal.  The toppings for the oatmeal came in a paper bag that said this:

flavors my senses

sweetens my disposition

stirs my imagination

nourishes my dreams

I think that should be apply to everything we eat!  (and it was really good.)

Where does the time go?

Earlier this week, I had a few minutes and my planner, and I wrote down a quick list of things I spend my time doing and things I want to spend my time doing. There is some overlap, and there are things on the do but don't want to list that have to be done, but I think it is very common that we have things we want to do but don't because of our excuses, however valid they may be.

With January almost gone (already?!), I liked this "different approach to goal setting: Next year, choose, plan and achieve goals that bring you joy, ease and happiness - not only when you achieve them, but along the way as well." The author goes on to say: "we spend way too much time in our life doing things we don't want, that we're not good at, with people we don't like, and without getting any reward."

There are things that we don't want to do, but have to be done. Last night, I had to clean up cat poo before the dog got it, then went upstairs to go to bed and found more (poor kitty is sick but I certainly didn't care at that point!) to clean up. While doing the clean up, the other dog made noise in the laundry room, so I caught her in-the-act. She had jumped over the raised baby gate that is supposed to let the cats in but not the dogs. So I grabbed a (tall) playpen and put it up with a gap for the cats. It can't really keep the dogs out but it will be loud going down.

So, "don't create goals and activities that involve struggle, complication, hardship and sacrifice." Rather than setting a goal to exercise, I can set a goal to hike, skate, or run agility with my dogs, since those are things that I like and are on my list of things I want to do more. "Do something every day." Now, that is a difficult goal!

New year, new attitude (in the news)

Business truisms: a little incomplete or even wrong, in my opinion, but love it: "if you're miserable, quit and do something else. If you're still miserable, it's you.
While talking to a professional contact on the phone today, she told me that her son is walking across the country, documenting his trip, and fundraising for MS. I was reluctant to tell her my whole story but did tell her that I'm involved in the Phoenix chapter of the NMSS and that I would send her a couple of MS bracelets.

New Year's resolutions for your career have some overlap with resolutions for the rest of your life: learn new skills, meet with your boss (substitute friends) regularly, use your network to find someone else a job, post your objectives where you'll see them and document your accomplishments.


Free concerts in Scottsdale, Sunday afternoons. Wonder what I'm doing on 2/13...