Pasta dinner

I spend a lot of time on food blogs and I noticed that a lot of the time, the recipes are not your standard weeknight fare.  I typically make salmon or chicken, with seasoning or a sauce, and rice or potatoes or pasta, and a vegetable or salad.

Someone in my office was eating spaghetti for breakfast earlier this week.  I used to do that all the time--go to Babbo's and get the spaghetti and meatballs special, eat half and have the rest for breakfast.  Yum.

I found spicy chicken sausage (not in casings) at Sprouts and cooked it, added a can of Muir Glen diced tomatoes with basil, and some almost cooked Fresh and Easy rotini rice pasta.  I covered it while I made my salad and grated a little goat cheese mozzarella (I'm not sure I'm supposed to be eating it, but I have it, so I had a little.)

I thought it was fantastic.  It will make an excellent breakfast.  Even without the cheese.

Disappointing

Last night, perhaps understandably, I did not want to do a lot of housework.  I had not done as much as I meant to over the weekend, but I knew I had several days before I would have company.  Anyway, last night, I did some as I have a schedule in place this week so my house will be clean Friday when we have our out of town guests over.  This morning, I did a few more things before heading out to work.

I had an appointment at lunchtime that was a little out of my normal lunch area, so I found that there were a couple of Thai restaurants I could try.  I went to the one that seemed most convenient.  Thai Basil had some outdoor seating as well as the crowded indoor seating, so I said I could take either and was seated inside.  They almost immediately put a salad and glass of water on the table; I waited and asked the waitress what was in the dressing.  She said "you can't have that" and took it with her when she left.

I asked about one of their signature dishes, Thai Basil with chicken.  She said it could be made without soy and there was no wheat.  When it came, it had a fried spring roll and a dish of sauce.  I couldn't get anyone to come by, so I didn't touch them or anything touching the spring roll.  When she came back, she said "you can't have that."  Um, if that's true, why is it on my plate?  The meal was essentially chicken and veggies with basil, but appeared to have no sauce, and a side of plain jasmine rice.  It was fine, but I left feeling annoyed.  I wasn't overly full but I felt like I probably ate enough but I wasn't satisfied.  I hate that feeling.  Maybe I'll try the other Thai restaurant next time.

There was something that happened today that really upset me.  I'm trying to say that I'm being overly emotional because of Jill, but really, I'm just shocked at the things people do and I don't understand their motivations.  I think I'm a pretty understanding person but I don't know how I will forget about this one.  (semi-update: I think I understand why it happened, but I'm not sure if it's better or worse than my original feelings or thoughts.)

Jill cat

Jill started peeing blood this weekend, so I knew it was time.  She has been eating less, losing weight, had a leaking cyst on one side of her face and was tearing up the other side of her face.  She had dental issues, allergy issues, potty issues, ear infections.  She was just a mess.  She's always been a mess.  So I was really surprised when I called the vet to make her final appointment that I was suddenly crying.

A couple of ladies in my work office had told me I looked stressed, and I thought, wow, this hair style is really not working for me.  But after I broke down in tears, I realized that I must have been dreading making the call.  I cried several times before I finally got home.

My husband was already home and he had taken her out to the back yard to roam.  She's always liked smaller spaces so she tried to stay close to the wall, which of course, made us nervous.  He let Cassi out, then Teka, and they both checked her out.  When it was time, we took her to the same vet where Kachina went.

The vet was very sweet, told us about her 2 cats who died of Valley Fever (cats don't do as well as dogs, not that all dogs do well either), and she was crying over Jill.  She thought we took good care of her.  As Jill stopped breathing, she stuck her tongue out.  The vet put it back in her mouth and notice a purple mass under her tongue.  She was worse off than I thought.  It was her time.

I'm still shocked at how upset I am.  She was the least favorite cat I've ever had, but I took care of her as my responsibility.  I know it's terrible to say, but she's been aloof, messy, sick, scared, frustrating....  And I know that I'm a little upset that I may not have another cat again.  I've had cats for more than half of my life; I've had Kachina and Jill for almost half my life!

I entered a contest for gluten-free products (flour, brownie mix, pancake mix, and pizza crust mix), so here's the linky link to gluten free frenzy.

Consumed.

I was still feeling emotional this morning and a coworker brought me into a conversation about how thin I am, and I should stop losing weight, and I kinda lost it.  I started crying and showed her my allergy test results, pointing out the graph for the bananas, and then talking about what the hell is amaranth, and she said "It's like you have to throw out all the research you've done, and start over, do more research.  It consumes your life."  OMG, that is exactly how I feel right now.  She gave me a hug and some sympathy (or is it pity?).  I felt guilty for being self centered, especially first thing in the morning.

So, what is amaranth? 

• Amaranth is a grain used to make flour for baking. Amaranth allergy is uncommon but does happen. If you've been diagnosed with a grain allergy, you may be more prone to an amaranth allergy. 
• It is commonly used as an alternative to wheat.  Amaranth, a relative of pigweed, is a lesser-known wheat-free grain often sold as flour (though you can also find whole amaranth in some health food stores or by mail order). Amaranth is nutritious: It's high in protein and fiber, making it an especially useful choice for vegetarians with food allergies.
• It is also a food additive. An amaranth allergy is an adverse reaction by the body's immune system to a red food coloring called amaranth which is used in a number of foods and drinks.

Later, I had a phone call with someone in another office, and she told me that she's allergic to something but hasn't been tested, isn't sure what it is, but every once in a while she gets the numb lip thing.  YES, my lips are still numb.  I can't remember if they have been numb all the way since Wednesday (now known as banana oatmeal day.  National Banana Oatmeal Day.  If it's capitalized and says national, it's an official day, right?  You better celebrate it next year.  Happy banana oatmeal day!  I'll be at home under the covers, now that I'm scared of banana oatmeal.  That would be an awesome villian in a movie, wouldn't it?  Can't you just see this giant blob of banana oatmeal tearing up NYC?) or if there was a break in there somewhere.  (Okay, that was a really long sentence with multiple sentences inside it--I hope it doesn't give you nightmares of Alien or something.)  I guess that really still doesn't tell me if it's the banana or the oatmeal.  *sigh*

I had a meeting with someone else and ended up crying again; she even gave me a hug.  I went to lunch nearly right after that, and since I needed a run to the dry cleaner, I went to Babbo.  They had my previous favorite for the lunch special--Italian sausage pasta.  Well, you know what?  That's what I had, with gluten-free pasta.  I don't know what's in the sausage, I didn't ask, and I ate it.  It was spicy yumminess.

This will seem completely unrelated, but just wait--it's not.  I love the bloggess and occassionally will check out one of her commenters blogs.  I don't know why I do this--so many of them are super awesome and then I have to follow their blogs and it's just more to read in my "spare" time.  (where "spare" is defined as any time I can put off doing something else so that I can read the bloggess and her hilarious friends.)  Today, I had to read the post about why she can't get any work done, so that I could also use that excuse.  Alas, it is not useful in my office.  They won't let me have cats or watch Dr. Who.  It's terrible, right?

So one of the first comments had a link to his post about things he would rather do than eat light mayonnaise.  How could I resist?  While that post drew me in (I will not participate in that crazy scavenger hunt list), it was the bromance with a news anchor that has me atwitter.  Really.  Pun intended.  (Am I having a bad hair humor day?)

I keep thinking that I should be on Twitter, but I'm not, because it would be one more reason to not do any work.  Not at the office, the other "work" I do outside of work, like taking care of my house and my health and shit.  Literally shit--dogs and cats and toilets, oh my.  The more you know, indeed.  Is it just a coincidence that his website is called mental poo?   I think not.

Then he says "..and a Twittermance was born (trademark pending)".  And I'm hooked.  I must get a Twitter account now.  (But am I funny enough, do I have anything interesting to say in less than 140 characters, will they like me?)  How else will I ever have a Twittermance (patent pending) or a bramance (that, I assume, is the feminine of bromance; should I pend a patent?) without an account?  I already have blog crushes, which I assume are like foreplay for a Twittermance.  I need lots of bramance and/or Twittermance since my husband does not understand why I'm completely emotional about my food issues.  (I think this is a man thing.)  So maybe you'll see me on Twitter.

Bananas!

My student, K, started by reviewing my allergy results, then going through her questions.  Some things that I have not been eating regularly did not show as allergens but she said that was normal; she is Celiac and wheat doesn't show for her even if she eats it right before the test.

it's for breakfast

The big terrible news is that I cannot eat bananas!  I have been eating Glutenfreeda oatmeal for breakfast most days; the box of six packets has three flavors, including banana.  I will have to give away the packets I have left--I have been purchasing these by the case from Amazon in order to save money.  In the future, I can order the other two flavors separately.  I also use bananas in smoothies and "shakes" pretty frequently, and no more banana milk either.  I was really looking forward to trying banana "ice cream" so I'll have to delete that idea from my brain.  And I get bananas in my produce box every two weeks, so I have just updated my preferences to exclude them.

bananas. and cranberry?

The test graphs have 2 bars.  The lighter colored bar, IgG, is the (where I have some positive readings) which are "gut" and the darker colored bar, IgE, (where I *thankfully* don't have positive results) is the "antiflaxis."  Essentially this means the darker colored bars are what people call allergies and have symptoms where they can die, and the lighter colored bars are the ones that everyone thinks are not serious since you can't die (you just wish you could) or worse, it's all in your head.

She reminded me that I had coffee and dairy the night before my test, so I thought it was interesting that "whey" was off the charts but coffee was not.  Although I'm not allergic to coffee, I'm supposed to limit my coffee consumption due to its inflammatoryory properties.

Goat milk and cane sugar

I'm still a little confused because she pointed out that I had a response (within the 0 to 1 column) to the goat milk and shouldn't consume it, but when we talked about other items to which I had similar responses, she thought I should just try them after eating clean for a month.  Hmm.

Another student, C, was present for the appointment, and he was actually the one who did my treatment today.  It was weird to get a Castor oil massage treatment for my shoulder from a guy.  He noted that the pectoral muscles tend to contract when we spend a lot of time hunched in front of a computer and they talked some about ergonomics.  They suggested I be aware of balancing both sides, like if I am leaning to one side, then lean to the other, or carry things on both sides.

They also did "blocking" which was not at all what I thought it would be.  It is a way to gently realign since I'm lopsided.  With me laying face down on the table, he picked up my feet and moved my legs to different positions, then put my feet back down.  Then they put rolled up towels under each leg; on the right, it was closer to my hip and on the left, it was closer to my knee.  The towels stayed in that position until after the massage therapy was complete.

K reminded me to schedule the appointment with the "chiropractor" they recommended.  I won't be able to go back to Dr. H (I only saw Dr. H on the way out) for 3 weeks, so I may be able to fit another appointment in--we'll see.  I felt very good when I left but found that I was having some additional pain within an hour, maybe a residue of yesterday's breakfast.  I should mention that my upper lip has been numb since sometime yesterday.  This happens occassionally and when it first happened, several non-medical people thought it was an allergy thing but the doctors in my life at the time said no.  I wonder...

Pecans and carrots.

Now that I've been wondering for a while, I wonder if it's the oats.  After reviewing my results with my husband and talking about the confusing conversation with the student, I think I need to:

• 1. talk to the doctor (in 3 weeks!)
• 2. find an allergist or nutritionist to make sure I'm getting what I need in my diet
• 3. cut out everything that shows any bars in the graphs (I'm not even sure that's possible)
• 4. get another allergy test done (pay for another blood test), maybe in the next year (since the tests are somewhat not accurate, as evidenced by the wheat and egg graphs conflicting with my August test).  *big sigh*

He is really upset that I am saying that my life sucks, fuck my life, and crying and stuff.  Well, I'm fucking pissed that my health sucks so much and I'm so tired of my body betraying me.  Yeah, I know my life rocks in some ways, but I'm in pain, I've been in pain for the majority of 2 days, I can barely walk right now because of it, and I have to go throw out half of my food.  AGAIN.  So, yeah, I think at least part of my life sucks a little.  I know, at least I have food to throw out, at least I'm finding out what's been wrong with me for years now, blah blah blah.  Anyway, FML. Or at least my health.  I'll work on the gratitude tomorrow.

Armadillo Grill (again)

I was invited to lunch (on the boss) with a group, and we went to Armadillo Grill.  It has that sports bar vibe (they were showing horse races in the bar area today) but the food is better than sports bars.  There is still not much I can eat (sports bars and buffets--not my friends, I'm telling you) but they usually have some variety of salmon in parchment on their specials.

Today's special was with wild rice and veggies and a sauce.  My version was with a lemon butter sauce, white rice and seasoned veggies.  It was very good and I ate it all.  Seasoning makes me nervous, and the rice was not all that white so I wonder if there was broth I should be nervous about (or maybe it was the lighting), but it tasted good and I was already having pain.  Grr, pain, grr.  Their blackberry jasmine unsweetened green ice tea is yum.  There were a couple desserts ordered for everyone to share.  Everyone but me.  sigh.

I got back to the office, and the person who is most offended by my dietary restrictions (yes, you read that right, my diet totally inconveniences him) left me some bottle caps or whatever that candy is called.  Although the ingredients don't list anything I'm allergic to, it lists 3 or 4 artificial colors, as well as some questionable what is that stuff ingredients.  Oh, yeah, I don't LIKE gummy type candy, with few exceptions.  So I had to explain (when he asked) that I don't like that type of candy and that would actually be somewhat important, nearly as much as the ingredients.  I'm a terrible person.  And the worst dinner guest ever.

Wildflower Bread Company

The ladies in the office invited me to lunch, and the birthday girl chose Wildflower Bread Company.  I have looked at their menu and did not find anything readily okay for me to eat, besides several vegetarian soups that may or may not be served the day I go.  I decided to do more homework and found that I can have a few things:

• Serrano grape dressing (all other dressings contain at least soybean oil)
• Sante Fe Pepper Soup
• Vegetarian Black Bean Soup
• Vegetarian Chili
• Vegetarian Lentil
• Salmon Caesar (kind of: it would only be salmon, lettuce and capers; no mushrooms, no croutons or bread, no dressing or cheese)
• Wildflower Salad (no dressing or bread)
• Dinner Balsamic Salad (no dressing or bread)  

I decided I could get the pick two if they had a soup I can eat with the wildflower salad, or I could get one of the salads and add salmon.  (The chicken is NOT safe.)  When we arrived, I noticed a soup listed that I had not seen so I found the manager and asked if I could see the ingredient list.  He immediately took me to the counter and found it for me--and the Vegetarian Masala Tomato Lentil (dairy free, gluten free, vegan) with no bread is safe for me.  I had the soup and wildflower salad with the serrano grape dressing and a green ice tea.  The salad was fine, the dressing was good, and the soup was very good.

When I refilled my ice tea, I found the manager and thanked him for his help.  (Holding my award) I'd like to thank Allergic Girl for teaching me to find the manager to ask food issue questions, and the manager for being so helpful when interrupted...