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DRAFT TODAY, POST TOMORROW: Some posts may be in draft status until I (aka procrastinator extraordinaire) get around to posting them.



Friday, September 30, 2016

September update

Oh, the things that happened this month:

  • birthday party for my niece's daughter
  • Labor Day swimming at my cousin's
  • (always) Dr. Q
  • webinar on natural treatments--mostly talking about mushrooms (I don't have time for more crazy #justsaying)
  • endocrinologist appointment--she was not impressed with how quickly my primary doctor reduced my thyroid meds so she asked me to come back next month for new labs; I am currently taking 100 mcg of Levothyroxine (Synthroid)
  • work dinner Olive and Ivy--pretty good, and accommodating
  • went to Becketts Table and it wasn't as good as I remember, kind of weird actually; a small, tasty piece of salmon on a plate of carrots and a side of green beans after I was done eating.
  • went to my niece's daughter's and son's birthday party at a park

cat in a bag - tongue out Tinker

sandwich on Bread SRSLY (a gift!) #giddy
sandwich on a Bread SRSLY roll #happiness


Sleeping Cassi--but I missed the photo contest deadline

Mmm, bacon--the low sodium has a shorter ingredient list.

Fruit!

Bacon, and bacon wrapped apricots #yum

No weird ingredients--a Costco find!
The tri-tip after cooking #nomnom


roasted asparagus
My major malfunction has been the eye doctor/glasses shopping. This seems like a short, simple process for most people. However, I:

  • went to the eye doctor, got a glasses prescription, 
  • went to Costco and found frames, had glasses and sunglasses made, 
  • picked up new glasses and sunglasses, couldn't see but they said it was the prescription,
  • went back to adjust (the ear piece was painful),
  • went back to the eye doctor but they just had me see one of the technicians in the front and said it was probably the coating on the lenses (#WTF), 
  • went back to Costco where they checked the prescription and sent the glasses back to be remade, but not the sunglasses, 
  • picked those up and still couldn't see, 
  • made and had an appointment with my friend's eye doctor at another Costco, got a new prescription, 
  • got my glasses and sunglasses remade, picked up the glasses first,
  • picked up the sunglasses and had the glasses in for an adjustment.


I got this style of sunglasses

I still need to take the sunglasses in for adjustment as one of the arms is too loose, but seriously, who else goes through this kind of crazy to cross ONE ITEM OFF MY LIST? I cope but I hate that this is my normal. An item on my to-do list took me two months to accomplish. I can't wait to do it again next year! #Ispeaksarcasm

Friday, September 2, 2016

Sad

The hardest part of divorce may be losing friends. Of course, some friends have loyalties to the one they knew first. I expected that, although most of his friends and family have kept me on social media. I expect this could be an issue at some point but I don't have a solution yet.

I was most surprised by friends I had, who were not really close friends, who stepped up, supported me and my decision, and really encouraged me to blossom and grow and thrive.

But I am most saddened by the friends I lost over the last year and a half. The ones I kept investing effort into after they started doing or saying shitty things. And then THEY (for the most part) decided we weren't friends anymore.

It makes me feel as though *I* was the shitty friend. But all I did was stand up for myself, or at least not let someone run all over me.

My loving friends remind me that some people have only seen me as this person who does what is expected and takes it, no matter what *it* is. And maybe some people can't be friends with someone who decides to actively pursue happiness. Because that is a person who is not going to put up with your bullshit.

Or maybe they just liked me when I could be miserable with them or entertain them with stories of how miserable my life was.

But each time, I realize that this person, who was my friend for X years, and was with me through certain times, this person has decided my friendship is not important to them. And I want to run after them and say, wait, I can make it work!

But they have already told me that I am not important to them. Through their uncaring petty comments, by missing dates with me, by only seeing me when I reach out--if it's convenient or they don't have better offers, by never inviting me or contacting me, by giving me their big news on social media, by deleting me as a friend from their social media. By supporting my ex, however subtly. My eyes are open; I see you and your actions. Or inactions.

I want to be that person who doesn't care. I don't care enough to be a doormat, or to be on call at someone's whim, for a friend, or to stay married to my ex and his parents. But I care. I understand how these people I loved feel about me.

I am not important.